I Think I’m A Bit Depressed

A few weeks ago, one of our troopers received an award.  Since he started his career as a dispatcher, the command staff were on the hunt for photos.  A prior co-worker found a photo taken at a work BBQ/picnic, many, many, moons ago.  I was lucky enough to be in the photo with Jeff.

 

I’ve been reflecting on this photo ever since and my thoughts are “why didn’t I work to protect my progress?”  I really took it for granted.

 

My Goal Anniversary is this month and in April is my Lifetime Anniversary. 

 

Prior to the last few weeks, I was feeling really energized and motived to finally kick some of these extra pounds.  I really want to get back into the 220s.  Sadly, while small, I’ve gained over the last three weeks.  This week will be a large gain as I’ve been very sociable.

 

I also think I’m a bit depressed this week.

 

I was chatting with a member via text.  While I’m not where I was when I reached goal, I have kept off 77 pounds and for that, I am proud of my accomplishments. 

 

I spend a lot of time feeling down about my weight loss journey and those types of thoughts are not self-serving.

15-Year Weight Watcher Anniversary

 Goooood Morning and Haaaaaaapy Thursday!  

That is a lot of pep for 6:30 a.m.  I have an overtime shift later today and I am taking Saturday and Sunday off this weekend.  It has been so nice to sprinkle in some days off with the husband the last two months.  

With our return late Sunday from our couples weekend in Spokane and Coeur d’ Alene, I decided to not step on the scale this week and risk feeling bummed about the progress I had made over the last three weeks.  Instead, I got back on track and am working towards making this week successful.  It has been hard to get back into activity and while my bum hip is telling me I need to walk, I felt so sluggish when I finally got out and about yesterday.  I will follow up with a walk this morning to continue to stretch out that side of my body and ramp back up the intensity as I had last week.  

My 15-year Weight Watcher Anniversary was also this week.  

What an amazing accomplishment.  I’ve been reading my blog post from when I reach maintenance in 2009.  These portions especially jumped out at me.  

I suppose I just started getting heavier and heavier in college. Living the single life and enjoying life in general. I can’t really say it was one thing or another. Poor food decisions and no exercise. I remember going to the doctor and slowly the scale started to increase. When the nurse weighs you, to be police they always started the weight at the 200 lb marker. I always told them to start it at the 250 lb marker as I knew I was over 250. One day she moved it to the 300 lb marker. I couldn’t even believe I was over 300 lbs. How did I get this way and why didn’t anybody tell me?? Because YOU have to be ready to change. Nobody can make you do it. Nobody can make you want to eat healthy and exercise. It has to be your choice and it has to be for the reasons you want to do it. 

It is amazing what an impact weight loss can have on a person. It is way more than just losing pounds or looking good. For me it was a whole life change. It was making the outside match how I felt on the inside. No longer hiding and no longer allowing myself to make excuses. I’m active, I’m alive, and I love my life. I have a great husband, great family and great friends. My support system is HUGE! And I am grateful for each and every one of my supporters. 

That last part is still true today.  I have been so lucky to have such great support along my journey.  As a coach, I get so much support from my members.  I love our WW Community.

It’s a beautiful morning so I’m going lace up my shoes and go for a walk.  Have a fabulous day.

Weekly WI: 14 Years Since Reaching Goal

 I recently achieved my 14th Weight Watchers goal anniversary milestone. ⭐️ 

Although I had a gain this week, I’m celebrating all I’ve accomplished, how I refocused after gaining some weight back, and that I continue to plug along each and every day. 

It’s not about perfection. It’s about consistency. 

I engaged in a few too many social situation this last week and overall just feel unfocused.  I am not sure why exactly but I suspect some of it has to do with our weather.

I heard a member at the scale share she feels a little bit of depression this time of year and I could absolutely relate.  I am ready for warmer weather, getting out for walks, patio beer, and overall just living a more active life.  It feels as though my days are filled with just work and it is bumming me out.  

I’ll always struggle with losing weight/keeping it off and being social.  I think maybe I’m feeling like my last vacation didn’t give me that good boost I was wanting.  Don’t get me wrong, it was still fun (and I really do have more trip recaps coming your way).  It was just different and didn’t give me that break from work I often crave.  We have so many new people right now it all just feels so overwhelming.

I have to continue to remind myself that this too shall pass, things will get better, and staying committed to my Weight Watchers program is where my focus needs to be.

13th Wedding Anniversary

It’s our 13th wedding anniversary today.

We are cooking dinner at our vacation condo while relaxing with some Food Network on the TV. 

Yep, year 13 isn’t glamours but boy do I love this man. It’s rare to get a photo of The Hubs smiling. My aunt snapped this one when we were leaving her house in New Mexico last week.

Cheers to Lucky 13.

12 Years Since Reaching My WW Goal Weight

On several social media sites, I recently shared my Facebook memory 12 years ago when I finally made goal with WW officially having lost 130 pounds.  I had no idea that I would actually “trend” a little bit.

I feel like a celebrity!  Honestly though it was overwhelming to have so much love.  I have really wanted to somehow get picked up at a WW Ambassador and I have no idea how you get one of those gigs.  However, building my online presence could be one of those ways.  The hard part about that is that it is exhausting to be “on” all the time with social median and frankly, I just don’t have the time when I am at work 10-hours a day.  Plus, I have to set the example in not being on my cell phone at work if I want others to put their phones down too.

I was even more surprised to see that I got pick up by one of the WW hashtags and they promoted my Instagram post.  Ahhhh…soooooo cool!

What a ride it has been over the last 12 years since I reached my goal weight.  I have learned so much about myself and most recently with all my hard work at tackling re-gain weight, I have learned that I am most comfortable keeping 100 pounds off.  Whether or not I ever make it back down to 175 again, that is okay.  I do know that being down over 100 pounds just makes me feel so much better.  Now that I have been able to become a semi-permanent resident again in Onederland, I really do want to stay there.  

There is where it all began…

This is where it ended 12 years ago…

Although it never ended.  This journey is one split into so many portions and each are equally just as important even if I learned more about myself in one or the other particular journey.  We are always able to learn, grow, evolve, and change.  We just have to have the courage to try and see what happens.  Stay open and adjust when necessary.  And if you need to, cry a little but then pick yourself back up, dust off, and keep going.

This is where I am now…

And I love it!

11 Year WW Lifetime Anniversary

It’s the eve before WI.  I have had a great week and I’m planning to bring it home today with another blue dot.

It turns out that lack of social events and vacations are really helping myWW program.  Of course, I already knew this!  I just hate that a pandemic is what is needed to confirm it.  Oh eating out…how I miss you.  Breweries…how I miss you.  Travel…how I miss you.  sigh.

According to FB Memories, I reached my Lifetime status with WW 11 years ago today. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about this memory.  It was 11 years ago that I had lost 130 pounds and after maintaining within a two pound goal range for six weeks, I became a Lifetime Member.  For those that don’t know what that means, it is where you are FREE and no longer have to pay to attend your WW meetings and you get all the program material for free.  If you continue to weight-in once a month within the two pound goal range, you earn additional charms each year.  

In the days before my WW meeting 11 years ago, I prepared a poster of some before photos, stats on both my weight loss and my weight percentage, and some motivational quotes.  The Hubs came and my parents surprised me with balloons and flowers.  

It was a really great celebration.

I can’t believe that 11 years has gone by so quickly.  I have no way of imaging how or where my life might be had I not made the decision to join WW.  That day in December 2006 that started the wheels turning about re-joining WW and that fateful day in January 2007 when I mustered up the courage to walk into my local WW Center changed my life. Really, it gave me my life back.  The ups and downs and all the struggles don’t really matter when in the grand scheme of things…I’m down 100 pounds 11 years later.  That alone, is life changing.

12 Years Of Wedded Bliss (Plus COVID-19 Cancelled Plans)

Despite some cancelled plans due to COVID-19 pandemic, we managed to get our 12th Wedding Anniversary celebrated.  We checked into the Anniversary Inn for the evening.  When we went to tour the rooms, I remembered one had a really big tub, almost hot tub size.  We booked Sultan’s Palace just for the big bathtub.

We weren’t sure where we would be able to eat as Boise City has put the squash on seating/restaurants and we weren’t even sure what might be open.  As we were checking in to the room, the owner of Papa Joe’s near by was hanging out flyers for their small take-out menu.  We were sold!  It was a short walk to/from and dinner was served in the room so we could relax.  Kenyon tried two different sandwiches and I tried the pesto fettuccini with chicken.  It was really good.

Anniversary Inn no longer gives you free cheesecake and instead you can purchase a dessert for $5.  We ended up skipping dessert, which was probably a good idea.  I think I’m coming off my fruit-coma as I’m craving sweets.

Once home, we finally fired up the new fire pit (pun intended).  We bought a fire pit column from Costco a few weeks ago and just got around to setting it up and testing it out.

When we were on the Broadway side of town, I had Kenyon stop at Albertson’s so I could get more of this low calorie/low point craft beer my coworker told me about.  I enjoyed a beer by the fire after I took a much needed and very enjoyable break.

This self-isolation thing is taking a toll on this extrovert.

Weekly WI: 11 Years Since I Reached My Goal Weight

Spoiler Alert: I had a loss!

 

I was prepping myself as I got ready for my WW Workshop that a gain was really plausible because of the work stress and emotional mess I was last week.  I just felt it in my bones it was going to be a gain and so I was focusing on all the positives of the week so I could keep myself in the forward movement direction.

I was really glad my focus paid off this week and I am really proud of myself for not giving into stress eating or alcohol.  It was difficult at times to allow myself to feed the stress but I didn’t. 

 

We had an awesome meeting topic on Perfection and feeling like we need to be perfect in our WW journey.  As you all now, my journey has been nothing in the scope of perfect.  It was 11 years ago I met my goal weight of 175.  This was an exciting FB Memory and the one I’d been waiting for.  I was really glad to have a loss this week on top of my WW/FB Memory.  A great day for sure.

Celebrating 13 Years As A WW Member

I’ve been needing to sit down and write out this blog post for a while now.  It has been difficult finding the right amount of time to devote to making sure I get it all out there and semi-organized!

This last week, I celebrated my 13-year anniversary with WW.  This used to be me, back when I weighed over 300 pounds.

This blog as been a journal of my ups and downs over the years since I started my maintenance journey in 2009.  Here are some recap posts from the last few years:

Goal - Five Years Later

Nine Years Since Reaching My Weight Watchers Goal

10 Year WW Lifetime Anniversary

11 Year WW Anniversary 

12 Years Of WW And A Trip Down Memory Lane

I had a FB reminder from eight years ago. 

This would have been in 2012 when I was starting to struggle more with staying in goal range.  When I look back over my weight recored and compare it to photos from that timeframe (or vice versa if the FB photo pops up), I’m surprise how good I actually look around 190 pounds.  This is why I decided to set my new doctor’s goal at 190 pounds.  

Hindsight reminds me that during those years, I was struggling big time and I felt like such a big failure.  When you find yourself back up to 253 pounds, and re-gaining 80 pounds back, 190 ain’t looking so bad.

This journey I’ve been on has been a whole life change.  I am a better person because of the struggles.  I have leaned more than I could have ever imagined about myself.  Mostly, I’ve learned how strong I really am and how if I set my mind to it, I can do hard things.

The 13th-Year has started off really great.  While it is easy to compare myself to others and get bummed out that I’ve been losing very slowly (i.e. losing and gaining the same 10-15 pounds for a while now), I really do feel like 2020 is my year.  This is the year I will re-claim my WW (new) Goal.  This is the year I will work harder, stay better focused, and make good things happen.  I can do this and I will do this!

10 Year WW Lifetime Anniversary

Good Morning and Happy…what day is it…Sunday! 

Oh, and Happy Easter.

I’m really mixed up on my days this week but I’m looking forward to spending time with my family later today.

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the day I earned my Lifetime Membership with Weight Watchers (WW).

 

What an exciting memory to have pop up today.  I am very happy overall which now my Lifetime Journey has been thus far. 

I’ve had struggles along the way.

I never quit. 

I’ve been really depressed about my weight gain.

I never quit.

I haven’t always worked the program 100% perfectly.

I never quit.

There are times I have skipped meeting due to guilt for not being committed.

I never quit.

 

As tempting as quitting felt when I wasn’t 100% committed to health/weight loss/fitness, it wouldn’t have gotten me anywhere.  I have struggled many times and have had to pick myself up a time or two (well more than that).  The struggle is what has made me stronger and if I can continue to see past the storm to the blue skies ahead, I will come out okay.

11 Years Of Wedded Bliss

Our 11th Year Wedding Anniversary was one for the memory books.

We were both home sick. Ugh! I was struggling last week with feeling tired and not sleeping well so maybe that is how my body got taken over by “the crud”. We went to Quick Care to rule out the flu, which thankfully it wasn’t. The weird part is that it sure felt like more than a cold. 

We did Walmart grocery pick up afterwards so we could get some soup and cold medicine. Kenyon snuck in some surprise flowers for our anniversary. That was so sweet of him.

I’m home today again since we have the extra staffing and I’m still not 100%.  I also had to skip my WW Meeting today which was a bummer. It’s my last chance for hitting up a Friday morning meeting since I change shifts next week at work. I got on the scale at home today and it was down 6 pounds from when I last got on it which I didn’t look how long ago. I am never sure how cold medicine plus crazy appetite eating will affect the scale. I may try to get to a meeting tomorrow or just work hard at keeping my “suspected loss” for next week.

Have a great Friday!

12 Year WW Anniversary And A Trip Down Memory Lane

I have not had the time to sit down and write up all my thoughts on what celebrating my 12 Year WW Anniversary feels like.  Today, I have that time.  Let’s see if I can sum it all up with some cliff notes.

It has been quite the journey.  The End.

But, you see, it isn’t the end.  My journey is nowhere close to being done and it has been quite the journey.  As with every journey, there is bound to be speed bumps and detours along the way.  Sometimes we might have to look really hard to find where the next path is or continue to have faith that we are on the right path and eventually it will lead us to where we want to be.

 

I spent some time a few weeks ago looking over 12 years of WW memories.  I still have all my weight journals…which is a lot when you think of 12 years worth.

 

I also have the bookmark my very first WW leader Lynn gave us when she retired from our Nampa evening meeting.  I reached out to her when I met goal and even saw her at a future meeting years later.  The words on the back of the bookmark still ring true.

 

 

A FB memory came up today of my thoughts on my two year WW Anniversary.  In 2009, I documented that I had lost 122 pounds and we getting closer to goal.  In 2019, I have lost 92 pounds and I am getting closer to getting back under 200 pounds.  What is crazy is that I am just 30 pounds heavier than I was 10 years ago.  That feels amazing. 

 

I have saved my old bookmarks with my 5 pound stars and my LT monthly stars.  Since the reimagined WW program doesn’t do stickers anymore, I’ll cherish these memories forever. 

 

I can’t wait until I can once again weigh-in each month at my goal weight (whatever my goal weight ends up being) and start earning my yearly Lifetime charm again.  Oh boy…those happy memories of what that used to feel like is going to feel twice as good when I get there.

Don’t give up.  Keep going.  Keep pushing through the hurdles in your way and find a different path.  Maybe even follow that detour that makes you nervous because you just never know where it might lead.

 

Thank you for letting me continue to share my journey.

Weekly WI: 12 Year WW Anniversary

My WI last week was a good one, thankfully since I was hopped up on cold medicine all week.  I lost 3.2 pounds and am my lowest I’ve been in a few years.  The most exciting part is that I am 7.8 pounds from reclaiming my 100 pounds.  I am stoked and this makes me strive to stay focused.

Since today is a holiday at work, it is also JEANS DAY! I love when I get to wear jeans to work because it is so comfy and I tend to get up and out of my chair more too.  But, lately, I’ve been feeling so good in my clothes (and feeling good in general) that I know I’m rocking my jeans today.

 

We talked in our meeting about your WHY and the reason for not only joining WW but also the reason to continue on this journey.  My WHY has always been to ensure the airplane seatbelt fits.  My continued WHY is to get back under 200 pounds and to continue to feel good in my clothes.  And, finally, I’m hanging onto this mantra as my continued WHY.

 

I celebrated 12 years with WW on the 22^nd.  Moving forward I don’t want to lose sight of all the times I’ve struggled but continued to push through and succeed.  Success looks differently for each person.  I spent all last year working on being more present and appreciating there here and now more than dwelling on the past.  I’m going to continue that in 2019 as I keep myself focused on moving forward.

10 Years Of Mr. & Mrs.

10 years ago today

I started my day as a Bride

And ended it as a Wife

And it has been the most wonderful 10 years alongside an incredibly amazing man.  I look forward to many more years to come.