I’ve been in a little bit of a funk this week. I never really know what sets these bad moods
off. I know part of it I am burned out
on night shift at work (going on nine months since I was last on a day
shift). I am just not the type of person
that likes to stay stagnant and not being able to rotate to different shifts is
really getting me down. I’ve been lucky
in that Kenyon and I have been on nights together since he did a back-to-back
night shift stint. But, he just got word
he gets to rotate early to day shift and will start day shift next week. I am really happy for him since he is
starting some college courses and needs to be on day shift. I’m keeping a small glimmer of hope that I
can get back to day shift in October – December. We have enough new staff, we just need to
keep them from quitting and they need to open more shifts for rotation. I’m hoping one of the new employees will
replace me on graveyard so I can go to a day shift.
Another part of work burnout is waiting for our
upcoming vacation and being able to spend more than just one day off each week
with Kenyon. We don’t have many days off
together and that makes me bummed. I’m
taking a good chuck of September off due to back-to-back vacations so I’m
trying to stay focused on the break that will be here soon.
I’m also struggling with my WW program this
week. I don’t feel as focused and
energized as I have been in the weeks prior.
I’m starting to doubt that I can keep losing weight now that I’ve
dropped my personal training sessions.
But, I know my food this week hasn’t been as planned/prepared as weeks
past so that is a big component. I hate
having to track all my food and think about what I have to eat all the time. It is exhausting. I’ve recently been having thoughts of wishing
I could be that person that can eat whatever I want with no consequences. Although, I know I don’t feel as well when I
eat crap so…
It didn’t help my mood today when I got on the
scale hoping maybe I was down and just needed to keep trudging forward only to
see I’m currently showing a gain. WI day
isn’t until Monday (which is why it is always best to stay off the scale
between weeks) so anything can change by then.
I’ve been wearing my old size 16 slacks but they are still a bit
snug. I went to put on the new size 16
Lane Bryant jeans I bought and they also too snug. I think I’m realistically an 18, not a
16. That bums me out because it feels
like losing weight this time around is taking forever. My first time down the scale I was losing
weight much more rapidly. This time, it
has taken me 10 weeks to lose five pounds.
I know I let those thoughts get me down too.
Somebody from our WW FB group posted something I needed
to read today:
Thanks for letting me unload. I needed to just write all these negative
thoughts out of my head so I can move on.
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