8/19/17

I'm A Bit Of A Negative Nelly Today


I’ve been in a little bit of a funk this week.  I never really know what sets these bad moods off.  I know part of it I am burned out on night shift at work (going on nine months since I was last on a day shift).  I am just not the type of person that likes to stay stagnant and not being able to rotate to different shifts is really getting me down.  I’ve been lucky in that Kenyon and I have been on nights together since he did a back-to-back night shift stint.  But, he just got word he gets to rotate early to day shift and will start day shift next week.  I am really happy for him since he is starting some college courses and needs to be on day shift.  I’m keeping a small glimmer of hope that I can get back to day shift in October – December.  We have enough new staff, we just need to keep them from quitting and they need to open more shifts for rotation.  I’m hoping one of the new employees will replace me on graveyard so I can go to a day shift.

Another part of work burnout is waiting for our upcoming vacation and being able to spend more than just one day off each week with Kenyon.  We don’t have many days off together and that makes me bummed.  I’m taking a good chuck of September off due to back-to-back vacations so I’m trying to stay focused on the break that will be here soon.

I’m also struggling with my WW program this week.  I don’t feel as focused and energized as I have been in the weeks prior.  I’m starting to doubt that I can keep losing weight now that I’ve dropped my personal training sessions.  But, I know my food this week hasn’t been as planned/prepared as weeks past so that is a big component.  I hate having to track all my food and think about what I have to eat all the time.  It is exhausting.  I’ve recently been having thoughts of wishing I could be that person that can eat whatever I want with no consequences.  Although, I know I don’t feel as well when I eat crap so…

It didn’t help my mood today when I got on the scale hoping maybe I was down and just needed to keep trudging forward only to see I’m currently showing a gain.  WI day isn’t until Monday (which is why it is always best to stay off the scale between weeks) so anything can change by then.  I’ve been wearing my old size 16 slacks but they are still a bit snug.  I went to put on the new size 16 Lane Bryant jeans I bought and they also too snug.  I think I’m realistically an 18, not a 16.  That bums me out because it feels like losing weight this time around is taking forever.  My first time down the scale I was losing weight much more rapidly.  This time, it has taken me 10 weeks to lose five pounds.  I know I let those thoughts get me down too.

Somebody from our WW FB group posted something I needed to read today:

 


Thanks for letting me unload.  I needed to just write all these negative thoughts out of my head so I can move on.

No comments: