Feeling The Work Struggles

This feels like the longest week ever…

I am going to blame the change in weather once February hit.  I think we are about to reach into Spring.  While our winter in Boise wasn’t as bad as other parts of Idaho and the rest of the country, it was hard to have cold and snow after our unseasonably warm winter.

 

Also, we are about eight weeks since our last shift change.  I find that I am ready for a change every 8-10 weeks.  Work has been dragging me down and it has been feeling really hard to come in each day.

 

I like my new routine.  I wake up around 6:30am, get in my activity, make breakfast, relax a bit a watch TV, and get myself ready for work.  I’ve also been cleaning up the kitchen and making the bed, which makes me feel super accomplished.  I work until 8pm, change after I get home, and settle in for a little more relaxing and TV before bed.  Kenyon and I usually go to bed around 10pm.  It has been a nice change from waking up at 4am and having to go to bed by 8pm.  I also feel like I have more downtime, which I’ve enjoyed.

It is the hours at work that has been tough.  There is some nastiness among personalities, those that aren’t team players, and feeling like people are spiteful.  And, I am letting it all affect my mood too much.  I keep telling myself I’ll try to be better today.  I’ll try and do better today.  I’ll work harder to let it go and not get so frustrated.  But, this is something I really struggle with.  I’ve always struggled with having resentment against those that don’t give 110%.  It has me thinking that I need to start giving less but that is just not how I roll.  Maybe I care more?  I don’t know.  I feel like I do my best to be a team player and I guess my expectations are just way too high for others around me.

I know I’m ready for shift change and I have three weeks to go.  That means I’ll have to start getting up at 4am again…but I think it might be worth it at this point if it helps my mood (okay, that statement is relative because really, getting up that early doesn’t help anybody’s mood).  I am not very good at staying stagnant so I’m going to keep trying my best to hang in there.