It's Friiiiiiday!

Morning and Happy Friday!

It has been a busy start to the morning here at work.  I am super excited to start the weekend.  I work a 10-hour overtime shift on Sunday.  Saturday is my annual Hawaiian Party so I am anxious for my weekend.  I am excited to see all my friends and family.

I was in communication with the supervisor at Nampa PD yesterday and received some really great news last night.  They are going to be able to accommodate our trip to New Mexico at the end of the month.  Kenyon’s family is having a family reunion and I’ve yet to meet most of his extended family.  I am super excited and was really happy that the switch to another agency won’t ruin those plans. 

This new job has one hour of paid workout time ,most days built into the schedule (staffing levels permitting).  I hate to say that I think I am sort of holding off until then so I’ve got a reason for forced activity.  I just don’t seem to have the drive right now for activity.  It is sad.  I see people out walking and riding bikes and I think to myself, “that used to be me.  I used to find a reason to walk or ride my bike.”  I am making plans to walk to my WW meeting tomorrow morning.  No excuses!

Speaking of my WW meeting, I’ve been avoiding my scale at home this week.  I don’t think the number tomorrow is going to be pretty.  However, it is a necessary evil that I get on the scale.  I need to see that ugly number to shock myself into healthier eating.  I have been very lax with my food choices and my tracking is non-existent.

When I woke up this morning I had some back/hip pain.  It is worse when I sleep than any other time.  I couldn’t help but get a little bummed wondering why I can’t seem to keep the alignment of my hips in place after PT.  Oh wait, I know why.  It’s because I don’t do the exercises at home.  The same is true for my weight gain.  I can’t help but wonder why I can’t lose this extra weight.  Oh wait, I know why.  It’s because I don’t do commit to my healthy eating and activity.  Sigh.

It is too easy to get depressed.  So instead, I’ll just stay focus on the Hawaiian Party fun on the agenda for this weekend. 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

When The "Used To Be" Isn't The Same "Used To Be"

I stole this image from the Operation Beautiful Facebook page several weeks ago.  At that time I was feeling a bit down in the dumps about my weight (it’s an up and down rollercoaster of emotion) and that image spoke to me.

When I joined Weight Watchers over eight years ago I used to be 300 pounds.

 

My trip down the scale seemed fairly easy.  Maybe I just don’t realize how much blood, sweat, and tears it took to lose 130 pounds.  For a few years I maintained my goal weight fairly easy.  Again, maybe I just didn’t realize how much work it was.  Since I have re-gained about 30 pounds my “used to be” isn’t the same “used to be.”  I don’t struggle with what it was like to weigh 300 pounds.  Instead I struggle with what it was like to weigh 175 pounds.

 

This photo has been showing up in my Facebook newsfeed the last few days.  It was taken three years ago at a bachelorette party.  I keep looking at this photo thinking how small and skinny I look.  The thing is, I didn’t realize at that time (nor did I fully appreciate it) how small I really was.  Perhaps it goes back to that thought of maintenance feeling fairly easy at first.  Perhaps I just don’t remember if it was hard.  I know I struggled.  I know I had mental hang-ups.  I know I had body image issues. Identity is quite interesting when you are dealing with weight loss and weight gain.

I shared with my WW buddy Nichole that I sometimes wish I had not gotten as low as 165 pounds.  Maybe if I hadn’t then I would know what it feels like to no longer be that small of a weight or that tiny of a person.  That isn’t the truth though. 

Despite the struggles and the roller coaster of emotions I am a happy with my weight loss.  I am happy with the changes I have made.  If I had not been brave enough to take that first step and walk into a Weight Watcher meeting eight years ago, well, I’d still be 300 pounds.

 

“Don’t let who you used to be get in the way of what you can become.”

You Are Beautiful

I bought some new slacks for work a few weeks ago.  I needed something more comfortable for sitting at work all day as sadly I am not working hard enough to make my current pants fit less snug.  I found a pair of Lee’s trousers that has a comfort waistband.  They really are comfy!

The first day I wore my (now larger sized) new pants I noticed something printed on the inside.

 

Whoever designed these pants didn’t know I needed to see these words on the very day I spotted it. 

You Are Beautiful.

Such simple words and yet so powerful.  It serves as a reminder that no matter what size you are:

You Are Beautiful.

Thanks for the reminder. 

If you need a reminder today….here you go.

You Are Beautiful.