Sunday Musings

I am supposed to be turning my sleep around as I start graveyard shift on Tuesday night. We ended up going to bed around 7pm last night because I was exhausted. I was up for a couple of hours with Kenyon and then went back to bed until 8:30am. The hard part about changing your sleep schedule around means sometime you sleep a lot. And a result, I have a headache. I'm not sure if I'll grab a nap this afternoon or just try and stay up as late as I can tonight. My graveyard rotation is for the next six weeks.

The weekend so far is going fast. I am going to swing into the care center to visit my Grandma and meet up with my friend Cathy for a visit. Our mortgage broker from when we bought our house several years ago passed away from cancer. There is a Celebration of Life later tonight that I am going to attend. Very sad end to my day.



I’ve been thinking a lot lately about happiness and being comfortable in the body that you have.  Heather at Half Size Me has recently posted on FB about her success with maintenance and how in every decade of her life she was striving to find something better than the body she had.  She has realized as she enters her 40s that she is finally happy with the body she has.  I’ll admit my first thought was it sure is easy to love your body when you are at your goal weight and skinny.

Heather went on to explain that she no longer is a slave to the scale nor does she struggle with binge eating.  Clearly she has come full circle.  And, she has made a life that supports her weight loss and maintenance goals.  That is a very powerful thing.  I am proud of Heather for finally realizing she is happy and that she isn’t striving to change her body but instead accept it.

When I was in my teens I didn’t really feel like being overweight was a bad thing.  I was told often and made to feel as if being thin was somehow better than being overweight.  I tried a lot of diets and we finally found one that worked.  Then I went back to my normal eating and the weight came back on. 

During my college years the biggest struggle with my weight was meeting men and dating.  I convinced myself that if they didn’t like me they were an asshole.  I had a lot of friends and I loved my early 20s.  My friend didn’t make me feel bad about my weight and already being overweight meant I didn’t have to worry about what to drink at the bar or how many late night pizzas were delivered to the dorms on the weekends. 

I was 28 years old when I decided to get serious about losing weight and joined WW.  I entered into my 30s having met my goal weight and losing 130 pounds.  My early 30s were fantastic.   I was thin, I looked good, I got a lot of compliments, I was active and my clothes fit so I didn’t have to worry from season to season.  Finally it felt like I had come full circle with body acceptance.  Or rather learning to accept the new body I had worked so hard to create.  I honestly believed I could keep the weight off forever knowing that it was possible if I didn’t have a baby or if I didn’t get injured.

Six years later I have re-gained 50 pounds and that same body acceptance that I worked to create in my early 30s isn’t there anymore.  I know I am still better off than where I’ve been and I know that accepting the body I currently have takes time.  It is hard to fully accept it when you strive to have a thinner body.  It is equally hard when I know what it felt like to be thin, super active, and get a ton of compliments. 

I have several friends entering into their 40s this year and in a few short years I will be joining them.  I am learning to accept myself the more I age.  I have given up wearing foundation make-up daily and I have not colored my hair in 10 weeks.  I actually think I might stop coloring my hair all together.  I’m not afraid of gray hair like I used to be.  I’m not afraid of aging like I once teased my parents.  I have learned that life only improves with age and life is truly what you make it.

Happiness will come and I am in control of my own happiness.  It is up to me to learn to accept the body I have and to keep it healthy for years to come.  I need to be around so when I’m an old lady I can add a little purple to my gray hair...regardless of the size I am at that time in my life.


Thursday Musings

Good Morning.  I hope your work week is wrapping up as we start the downhill slope to the weekend.  I was planning to go out of town this weekend with my friend’s family to their cabin in McCall.  It is the annual Winter Carnival and while it would be tons of fun, I am feeling like it is best to stay home.  My friend Jamie says she understands but I do feel bad about cancelling.  Maybe I’ll make it there next year.

Yesterday was National Chocolate Cake Day.  I didn’t celebrate and in fact I did really well not indulging in sugar yesterday.  Just as I left work our Lieutenant and his wife were passing out cupcake size bunt cakes.  She has recently taken a job at Nothing Bunt Cakes and I hear their cakes are amazing.  They insisted I take one with me so I actually used my car cup holder to transport it home to Kenyon.  He ate it this morning and said it was tasty. 


I need to remember Nothing Bunt Cakes when I have an event that needs a cake…like a random weeknight at home.

I can’t say I had the healthiest dinner at home last night but when Kenyon said he was bringing out the ice cream before bed, I ran to brush my teeth and go to bed myself.  I figured as long as I saw no ice cream I wouldn’t be tempted to consume any.  I really do think I got some of my sugar-urge out of my system the other night.  It was a win for keeping sugar in check yesterday.  Working through being successful again today.

I stopped into Curves after work yesterday.  I have my bags all packed to stop in again today.  I am also sitting on the side of the room with the treadmill so I’ll be getting in some extra APs.  Yeah.

I found some funnies on the interest to share.  I hope this brightens your Thursday.



What I Ate Yesterday: Tuesday

I did pretty good remembering to take photos of my food yesterday up until the end of my day.  Here are some of my eats.


I had an egg sandwich that was larger than my bread!  My friend Jamie got me hooked on Panera’s bread so I stopped by and picked up a whole grain loaf to try.  I had it sliced thin so by the time I loaded up my eggs, ham, and pepper jack cheese, it was too big for the size of the bread.  It was still tasty though.

I had a grapefruit the side and some Dark Magic iced coffee with SF hazelnut creamer.  This is my new way to eat grapefruit.  I slice it like an orange and put two packets of Stevia on it.  Yum.

I also had some Dutch Bros in my refillable hydro flask and later in the day Jamie stopped by work with another Dutch Bros afternoon pick-me-up.


My first snack of the day was my usual Greek yogurt with frozen strawberries and Grapenuts.  This combo never gets old.

For an afternoon snack I had a rice cake with peanut butter and honey.  It is much tastier with a full 2 tsp of peanut butter.  (I forgot to snap a photo)


My lunch was similar to last week’s veggie-only salad as I had more veggies that needed to be cut up/used.  I cut up carrots, celery, cucumber, and bell pepper.  I made it a pizza themed salad and added turkey pepperoni, olives, a WW string cheese, and some kidney beans.  I dressed my salad with some light zesty Italian dressing.  I have another container of veggies to eat on this week and am looking forward to another pizza themed salad.


My lunch and afternoon snack didn’t hold me over really well so I was starving by the time I got home last night.  Kenyon isn’t feeling well so we were planning to take him to Quick Care.  I knew if I wanted until after to eat (it isn’t quick at all when you visit those places) I’d be in serious trouble.  I toasted two slices of Panera sourdough bread and ate that with some butter while I cooked a chicken breast.  The toast was so good I had two more slices.  I was able to eat my chicken dipped in some Chick-fil-A sauce while Kenyon got ready to go to the doctor.  (I forgot to snap a photo).

My dinner wasn’t the most nutritional meal and for the remainder of the night as we were filling prescriptions and getting a few items for Kenyon, I knew I was searching for “something.”  I honestly think I was wanting something sweet but telling myself that I didn’t plan it nor did I need it.  I got some Pringles and after munching on a few of them knew that wasn’t the “something” I wanted.  Kenyon selected two kinds of ice cream at Rosauers since the same was 2 for $5.  I knew on the drive home I wanted some ice cream.

Some ice cream turned into three bowls of unmeasured ice cream.  Good news is the sugar craving is now gone! (I forgot to snap a photo)

Today I am back on track, although I don’t have a solid meal plan for dinner tonight.  I think after feeling successful the last two weeks I am realizing I really should have planned my evening meals better.  None-the-less, I’ll figure out something.  I’m going to also dial back the sweets for today and maybe even tomorrow to off-set my indulgence yesterday.


I Had A Loss This Week

My diligence to paying attention to my sugar intake last week paid off.  I showed a loss of 3.2 pounds on my scale at home when I stepped on it first thing.


It was still pretty early so I ate some pancakes with peanut butter and honey, drank some coffee, and then got my workout at Curves done.  I wasn’t sure if a workout before WI would help me at the scale or not.  By the time I got showered and changed my official WW loss was 1.6 pounds.  I’ll take it!  It was a really successful week and I didn’t have to kill myself for the loss either.

Yesterday was a really good day for activity.  In addition to my Curves workout, I met Jamie and Rebecca downtown for lunch and it was a beautiful day where it was quite warm in the sunshine.  We walked to/from Rebecca’s work to lunch and also back to where Jamie and I parked.  By the end of the day I had logged 10,683 steps and walked 5.05 miles.  My total activity calories burned was 674 according to my Apple Watch.  I love days off where you can get in some solid activity.

We had a beautiful day on Sunday as well so I was able to get out for a walk on Sunday.  Today I am hoping to hit up Curves after work and I have my change of clothes with me.  I also am sitting on the side of the room that has the console treadmill so I’ll look some time on that today.  So far today is shaping up to be a “quiet” day at work but in the life of a dispatcher you don’t every say the word quiet!

I have my food and snacks packed for work today and I’m taking photos so I can share it with you tomorrow.  I don’t have a solid meal plan in place for dinners this week.  I am sort of winging it as I try to ride out the next couple of weeks.  I’ve been going over my weekly budget so I’m pushing off grocery shopping.  I need to get better about my spending.  It is TONS better than the last two months but still over what I’d like to spend.

Okay, I think that is about it.  Onto the work week I go.


Gun Show, Dance Party, Tea, Pizza, & Star Wars Party

Good Sunday Morning! I had a fantastic day off yesterday. Why do days off have to go by so quickly?

Kenyon and I met my sister Jenny for breakfast at LePeep and then we all headed to the Nampa Rod & Gun Club for a gun show. My Dad is still working to sell Pal Al's gun supplies/firearms so we stopped by to say hello. I took some information on an all women's shooting group and education class. I've never really been interested in shooting firearms but Kenyon enjoys going to the outdoor range to shoot. So I might consider checking out their meeting.

We met up with my other sister Katie and my nieces to visit our grandmother who is in a hospital/care center while she recovers from a surgery procedure. She wasn't in the best spirits and I suspect she is just tired and wore out. We tried to make her feel better by taking photos of her and putting a mustache on her using Emma's mustache app. We also had a mini dance party and took some photos together.

Before we left for the gun show I started the crockpot with a broccoli beef recipe. It turned out pretty good.

I had plans to meet my girlfriends for tea at Joyful Tea in Garden City. It was so much fun. They serve your tea in actual tea pots and you drink from a tea cup. It is very affordable at just $5 for a regular size pot of tea and just $3 for a small size pot. We are sure to go back and do this again.

I met up with Kenyon for pizza at Blaze Pizza in Meridian. We were sent a free pizza coupon in the mail and thought we would try it out. It is just $7.55 for a 10 inch pizza with any toppings you want. It is fire-fast cooking and your pizza is ready is 180 seconds. It was really good pizza too. We will be back to visit for sure.

I caved on my commitment to reduce my sugar and went to USwirl for some froyo with Reese peanut butter cup. Boy did it hit the spot!

A few of my friends and I had been kicking around the idea of going downtown to The Balcony for the Star Wars party. I saw this advertised on FB and thought it would be fun to see all the costumes. Jamie has recently become obsessed with Star Wars since her little girls have taken an interest. A few of us met downtown at Pengilly's for a few drinks before heading to the Star Wars party.

Okay, I have to say that walking around downtown with Jamie wearing her Darth Vader costume is a huge dude-magnet. If any of my single friends want to meet a guy, just ask Jamie to be your wing-woman. We had so many men approach us wanting to try on the mask or take a photo with Jamie. It was hilarious. There was one other Darth Vader there that you could tell spent a lot of money on his costume. As we were leaving we saw the character from the new Star Wars movie (I didn't remember his name and I guess I won't ruin it for anybody that hasn't seen the movie).

I had a very enjoyable Saturday night. I'm working four hours of overtime today and thankfully I still have Monday off before I have to fully return to work for the week.


Hiding The Goods

Good Morning.  Happpppy Friiiiiiiday!  I am very ready for the weekend.  It was difficult waking up this morning.  I had just re-set my alarm for another 20 minutes and I swear just closed my eyes when my alarm went off again.  Ugh.  I didn’t want to get up this morning that is for sure.

It turns out the gyro crockpot recipe was not a success.  Yuck!  I had eaten my snack later in the day so thankfully I didn’t hunt around for anything after eating only half my gyro and pita than calling it quits.  I do have a funny story to share through.

I had bought some WW pretzel chocolate candy bars at my meeting Monday so I had a low SPV option for sweets/desserts.  Well I actually hid them in the lower part of the pantry so Kenyon couldn’t find them.  It isn’t that I don’t mind sharing but they were $8 for a box of 12 bars and I’m not kidding when I say that Kenyon can eat that whole box in a matter of minutes if the mood strikes.

Last night I really wanted a little bit of something just before I went to bed and almost got into my stash of WW bars.  Then I realized that I would have to offer one to Kenyon AND I’d have to “out” myself that I have some hidden.  So, I decided that I didn’t need a candy bar that badly and just went to bed.

Positives: I went a whole day without sweets/desserts, however, not because of my pure willpower but because of circumstances. 

I’ll take that as a win.

Have a great weekend


What I Ate Yesterday: Wednesday

I took photos of my food yesterday so I could share it with you today.  I am tracking this week but not calculating the SPVs yet.  I figure this was a good push to get back into it.  I am still weighing and measuring my food just not actually writing down the SPVs.  Since I had several food events planned this week I didn’t want to feel guilty or stressed about what to eat/order.  My main focus this week has been on reducing the sugar/treats/dessert and finding alternatives that don’t break the SPV bank.


I had one of my go-to breakfast dishes yesterday morning and if you read the blog regularly it will look familiar.  Frozen potatoes cooked in oil with a bell pepper and half a Trader Joe’s chicken sausage.  I topped it with one egg and one egg white and squirted some ketchup (the only way to eat eggs and potatoes).


I had two oranges on the side.

Oh, and don’t forget the coffee.  Homebrewed Dark Magic with SF Hazelnut creamer.  I didn’t snap a photo of it but I also had a Dutch Bros Americano on my way to work.

My first snack of the day was yogurt with frozen berries and grape nuts mixed in.  I’ve started adding grape nuts for crunch and I really like it.




For lunch I had a salad of just chopped veggies topped with Trader Joe’s hummus and 1 tsp of olive oil mixed in.  On the side I had a pickle spear rolled up in ham with garden veggie cream cheese.  If you have never tried the combo of ham, pickle and cream cheese…well you must try it.  It is delicious.  I have some again for my snack today.

I forgot to take a photo of my second snack.  It was cottage cheese and mandarin oranges.  This is also one of my favorite snacks these days.



We planned a Gyro crockpot meal complete with pitas and cucumber dill yogurt sauce.  Before Kenyon had it started in the crockpot he got a call that his car in the repair shop would be done around 4pm and that I’d need to run him to get his car.  We discussed eating out instead and had a $10 off bonus coupon to use at Outback Steakhouse.  Since Kenyon was paying I accepted the offer!

We had lots of bread and butter as we waited for our dinner (and also some for “dessert” after our meal.  I couldn’t get enough yummy bread.

I went in with the plan to have Chicken on the Barbie which comes with a side of veggies.  However, that dish is $13.99.  I realized I could order a chicken sandwich for $11.99 and sub the veggies in place of the fries.  So, that is what I did.

But, instead of eating it as a chicken sandwich, I ditched the bun, gave Kenyon the tomato and avocado spread, and left the aioli sauce on the bun.  I added some BBQ sauce and ate it with a fork on the bed of lettuce that came with the sandwich.  The veggies were a bit overcooked.


I planned ahead knowing that after I eat out I usually want dessert.  I mixed up some SF/FF chocolate fudge putting and portioned it into single servings before we left the house.  I will admit I wanted to drink the mixture of milk and pudding after I mixed it.  I held myself back.

I ended up with double the activity yesterday.  I walked on the treadmill while at work for 30 minutes and then went to Curves for my 30-minute circuit workout after my shift ended.  M y double workout burned a total of 484 calories.  I logged 6,629 steps and 3.05 miles.  Kenyon outdid me though by getting in over 9 miles yesterday!!!  When he dropped his car off at the repair shop he walked to catch the bus and ended up on a wild goose chase.  Poor guy has pretty sore feet today.

I’ve got another day of food and snacks here at work today and we are having the Gyro crockpot recipe with pita bread tonight for dinner.  Yummmmm.


Nine Years With Weight Watchers

There was a discussion on one of my WW message boards about the statistics of weight loss and maintenance.  I tend to gauge success as being those who lose at least 10% of their body weight and have keep it off for at least five years.  It was NINE years ago this month that I joined WW.  I can’t even believe it has been that long. 

Since it is the start of a new year, I was looking at my weight record to see what my “official” WW weight was in January of 2015.  I wanted to compare it to what my “official” WW weight at my meeting this week.  In January of 2015 my weight was 196.6.  My weight on Monday was 227 pounds.

I lost at total of 130 pounds and I have kept off 77.8 pounds.  Since my starting weight was 304.8 pounds, 10% of my body weight is 31 pounds.  Regardless of re-gain and the ups and downs of maintenance, I am still a glowing success statistic.  Sometimes we just need a new perspective on how we are doing.

The sobering fact is that I have gained 30.4 pounds in just one year. *gulp*

This is something I need to work better on combating.  I have started to make small changes this week and am happy with these changes.  I am reminding myself daily that it isn’t about being perfect but it is about being consistent.  Just like you can’t swallow an elephant whole, if I break down this 30 pound gain over 12 months it is an average gain of 2.5 pounds per month.  With that being in the forefront of my mind if I can work to focus on a loss of as much as 2-3 pounds in one month then maybe this will feel less overwhelming and more manageable. 

Perhaps I can stick with this longer than the first sugar craving to hits?

Nine years has been quite a journey.  As with any journey there are highs and lows.  I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it hasn’t been for WW and all the support I have received through the years.  I might currently be unhappy with the new program tweaks, but WW will always be where my home is.


Small Changes To Yield Big Results

I am sorry I didn’t check in yesterday.  I hope your work week is off to a good start.  I enjoyed my weekend but it is back at it for me today.  I have a happy hour event planned with my girlfriends after work.  Is it 4 o’clock yet?

I had a very productive day yesterday.  I went to my WW meeting and it was good to be back.  I was pretty quiet as it isn’t one of my favorite leaders but the leader is at least decent.  I got a bit upset thought when the leader talked about her recent dining out experience and that a piece of key lime pie at Kona Grill was 109 SPV!!!  Are you kidding me?  I don’t understand why we are being penalized so strongly for sugar and treats.  But, it is what it is and the purpose is so we make it an indulgence and not an everyday treat.  I highly doubt anybody would want to indulge in a 109 point piece of pie.  Ridiculous and if you ask me it is quite silly of WW to develop a program that increases the points on sugar so much.  But, moving on.

From there I went to Curves for my daily workout.  I found two “active senior” women who wanted to chat at a slower pace than the rotation of every 30 seconds to the next machine/station.  I ended up lapping them a couple of times.  It is a good thing they were cute old ladies because how can you really get mad at them for impacting your workout?

I met Kenyon for lunch and hit up Trader Joe’s for some grocery shopping.  I planned some crockpot meals this week so we can have easy dinner after we get off work.  I got my car washed and then did some meal prep so that this weekend will run more smoothly.  Finally I met my friend Phoenix and her daughter Kiki for dinner at Costa Vita.  It was a really nice day off.

It was also a very successful day off in the sweets/sugar/dessert category.  I am not trying to white knuckle it but I was successful in keeping it in check and avoiding sweets yesterday.  I used gum to bypass that time I think about it and/or want to stop for a treat.  I got some FF/SF pudding to make and also bought some WW pretzel chocolate bars (2 SPV) as a “treat.”  Today after my lunch I am having a rice cake with peanut butter and a little bit of honey.  Again, I don’t want to go cold turkey so I am trying to combat it but also reduce.

As far as meals I planned a crockpot Gyros and Beef Broccoli.  I also have stuff on hand for making pita pizza with the leftover pitas.  I really want some falafels as well but I’m not sure if I want to go to all the trouble of some of the baked recipes I looked at online.  Snacks will include yogurt, fruit, cottage cheese, and pickled rolled up in ham and cream cheese.  It sounds weird but it is yummy!    

My goal right now is to make small changes that will build and create larger results.  I don’t want to do a complete overhaul and feel totally overwhelmed.  I am also tracking this week but not yet factoring up the SPV.  With my few planned events this week I didn’t want to get off track and stop tracking due to higher SPV foods. 


The Day Sugar Became Outlawed

Kenyon and I stopped into the grocery store last night for a few lunch items.  As we headed to the register we walked by some Valentine’s Day candy on a stand near the front of the store.  We talked about getting some M&M’s (noting the price difference just to get holiday colored ones) but decided we didn’t need any.  Then I spotted the cinnamon hearts.  I like gummy candy and if you have never tried chocolate covered cinnamon bears, well trust me when I say you should.

I’ve not been tracking so I had no intention of actually checking the SPVs (Smart Points Values) before I actually purchased them.  I had the package open even before Kenyon finished paying and was doing a little happy dance over the delicious sugar hitting my taste buds.  Kenyon was shaking his head wondering why I would even get excited over cinnamon hearts.  I told him I wasn’t sure why but ever since Weight Watcher put the veto on sugar it is all I have craved.

I decided to check the SPV when I got home.  I told Kenyon that I was guessing it was going to be 8 SPV.  I suppose I should buy a lottery ticket because I was correct.  It is 8 SPV for a serving of cinnamon hearts, which is just four hearts.

Ever since WW rolled out the new “Beyond The Scale” program there has been a heavy emphasis on sugar and a very large increase in SPVs for anything that contains sugar.  If you love sugar, this can be a problem.  What might have once felt like you were spending your points on an occasional treat or indulgence now feels like you are spending your points for a whole other meal.  Who would ever want to eat four measly cinnamon hearts for 8 SPV?  That is a whole meal in my book.  It also got me thinking that if my DSPA (Daily Smart Points Allowance) is 33 then 16 cinnamon hearts would equal my whole day worth of points.  I am pretty sure I’d be hungry moments after eating 16 cinnamon hearts, assuming I didn’t eat them all in one setting.  I mean if this is all I have to eat in one whole day I had better ration that portion to last me all day.

I am really struggling with this new impact on sugar.  Clearly, if I had scanned the cinnamon hearts at the store I wouldn’t have bought them in the first place.  8 SPV for four cinnamon hearts is not worth it.  It leaves me with the honest struggle between cutting sugar out completely (not realistic), finding a sugar/dessert alternative that is less SPVs than an entire meal (a realistic option), or giving up on tracking when I want something sweet and thus not getting back to tracking until the new week begins (which is what has been happening and clearly is not working).

I’d love to hear your suggestions for low SPV dessert/treat options. Please share with me.



Happy Friday. We are enjoying our weekend on our end. I hope you are about to start enjoying your weekend too.

I went for my workout at Curves today and planned to get signed up for the CurvesSmart program where you use a card to track your weight. The instructor got my card activated and then walked me through the start-up process. In order for the card reader to get an idea of my workout I had to get on every machine completing three reps, waiting, and then completing three reps again. The first tested range of motion and the second tested intensity. After that you are cleared to do your workout. The instructor followed me around to explain how the card works.

When you move to a machine you insert your card and watch the readout to tell you to start. The goal is to keep the color green (not yellow or red) which means you are working your muscles the most. You also want to keep the range lights lit as that is telling you that you are using the full range of your muscles on that machine.

Your first three machines are a “warm up” so you will see the reps dial say “easy”. After that you will first see the number of machines you have left to complete in your circuit. Then you will see the number of reps you complete during the 30 second cycle. When you get to the final three machines the dial will read “cool” and the last machine will read “end workout.” She explained that it was important not to pull the card out too soon or it won't save your information. If you found you got to the final machine but didn't see “end workout” it might be because you pulled the card out too soon on another machine. I got lucky my first round!

After the workout and cool down you plug your card back in and wait for it to load your results.

It's interesting because I could tell during the workout that I wasn't working my left bicep as much as my right one and that I couldn't get the glute machine to ever get into the green color. The results showed that my left bicep and my gluts weren't worked out as much as the rest of my muscles as they had a yellow dot vs a green dot.

It also shows you how many calories you burned. According to the CurvesSmart, I burned 345 calories. According to my Apple Watch I burned 249 calories. It sure felt like I worked out harder than my past workouts but it could be just that I was more focused. The calorie count is around the same amount from each of the times I have done my workout. After seven days you can start graphing your progress. I'm excited to see how this continues.

It was a nice good sweaty workout! I was pooped.