Reflections After Checking In With The Scale

I stopped into the WW center near my house so I could get my March WI done.  I have no idea where this year is going but boy is it going fast.  I realized that this would be my last opportunity to at least get my WI done or I’d be missing a month for the first time in nine years of being a WW member.  I couldn’t stay for the meeting though.

I have stopped into this location one other time to say hi to my WW leader Donna who is the receptionist at that location on Saturday.  I noticed there was a new leader and that she was young and looked alternative.  I don’t say she is alternative to mean anything negative.  How often do you see a WW leader wearing blue tights?  (The time before she was wearing magenta colored).  That is awesome!  I wished I could have stayed for the meeting and holy cow it was a huge group.  They actually had two receptionists and the leader weighing people in.  That never happens.

Last week would have been a great meeting to attend and I wish I had after reading over the WW Weekly.  It is about setbacks and tips for getting back on track.  Boy have I had a setback!

My starting weight with WW in Jan 2007: 308.4

My current weight as of March 2016: 238.4

I have gained seven pounds between my February and March WI and I had gained six pounds between my January and February WI.  Ouch.  My lowest weight in my WW booklet was December 19, 2015 which I weighed 218.8.  This means that I have gained 19.6 pounds in just three short months.  Ouch.  When you break it down and really look at the numbers, it doesn’t look good at all. 

Obviously I knew there was a problem.  I had started to avoid the scale (both at home and the WW meetings) and you can’t ignore tight pants and ill fitting clothing.  Also, my wedding ring has been snug for a while now.  I remember how excited I used to be to shop in the smaller clothing section and how many times I had my ring re-sized.  To have to go the reverse way is a terrible feeling.  There is no excitement what-so-ever about it.

What has led to my rapid fire gaining?  It all comes down to one thing: priorities

I knew when I went to the WW center that my WI would be scary.  I got on the scale and took the hit like a champ.  I explained to the leaders that there are no excuses and that I have not been making it a priority.  However, I do feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel and as the weather warms up my desire to be out exercising has increased.  I feel like the desire to eat better is also lying beneath the surface. 

Much like the tips in the WW Weekly, I need to get back to basics.

Track , track, track.  I have not been tracking my food and therefore I’ve not been making the best food choices.

Weigh and measure portions.  Since I’ve not been tracking I have not been weighing and measuring my portions.  I need to eat less.

Move more.  I have not been to curves since sometime in February.  I’m paying for it so I need to be using it. 

Support.  Kenyon has the desire to also lose weight so the two of us need to accountable to each other.  It is really easy to talk the other into going out to eat.

Attend meetings.  For me, my WW meetings are key.  That is also extra added support and accountability when you attend meetings.  There are a lot of meetings in my area so I have no excuse for missing a meeting.

It isn’t rocket science but it is hard work.  I need to accept this gain and move on.  If I continue to dwell on the negative feelings I will continue to avoid the scale and my WW meetings.


Happy Easter Sunday

Happy Easter Sunday!!  I’ve been seeing all the fun Facebook posts and I am sure wishing I was a kid again.  Instead, I am at work today.

I’ll tell ya, you know you have worked hard on your day off when you are hoping going back to work means you can rest.  We almost finished our entire house moving/cleaning over the last four days.  I still have to tackle our bathroom and the laundry room, which has been the catch-all for the last few miscellaneous items.  I’ll do that after work and then we should still be good enough to go for our professional photos tomorrow. 

I need a vacation!!!  Good thing we are headed to Las Vegas Tuesday.  I am glad we are headed out of town because it is hard to live in a house you are trying to keep super clean.  Instead we arrive back home Thursday afternoon and the house will officially be listed.  Fingers crossed we get a good offer that doesn’t fall through.

Here are a few photos I took after we put bark on the outside.  I also still love the shine of the super clean windows. 

The stagers came yesterday afternoon and gave us a thumbs up.  We need to hang a few pictures on the walls since it does look a bit bare.  I’ll share more photos our staging once I have it all completed.  It has been a very long four days.  We are exhausted.

In non-house related news, I popped into the WW center near my house so I could at least get my WI done for the month of March.  It wasn’t good at all.  There is a direct correlation between my pants being tight and the scale being a scary high number.  I’m looking forward to our Vegas trip and then it is time to re-focus ASAP!

I’ll share more about my WI at a later time.  I need to get my thoughts in order.


In The Thick Of It

It is crunch time for getting our house ready for the market!  Both Wednesday and Thursday have been very exhausting but very productive days.  By yesterday evening I felt like I’d be hit by a Mack Truck!  I was exhausted.


I logged over 600 calories burned and over 10,000 steps.  It was a very busy day!

Wednesday we had painters come and paint part of the inside.  Dave and Jose at Miracles Painting did a fantastic job and the paint color they picked turned out to look really great.  When I saw the paint sample against our white walls I was initially worried it would look too dark.  I love our white walls and wood moldings.  I’ll post photos once we have it all staged for showing.


Brad from Brad’s Window Cleaning came to wash the inside and outside of our windows on Thursday morning.  My windows look AWESOME!  I have never had our windows professional cleaned and I am sold on this in the future.  I can’t believe how much natural light now comes in when the blinds are open.  This will make our showing/professional photos look 10x better.


Thursday afternoon Jarrod from Eco Clean Carpet Cleaning came to clean our carpets.  We had our belated anniversary massages and dinner plans so we were able to be out of his way while he cleaned and the carpets had a little bit of time to dry.  I’ll tell ya it isn’t easy having wet carpets.  It was late in the day that our living room was put back together!

I didn’t like my massage therapist very much but I do feel pretty good today considering all the house-stuff that has been going on the last two days.  So I am glad we booked these appointments.  We enjoyed a late lunch at Tucanos.  It was delicious.  Since we got in on lunch prices we sprung for dessert.


I’m at work this morning but hoping to be out of here by 10am.  Dave and Jose are coming to finish the painting on the inside of the house in the kitchen.  We are pretty much down to just stuff in the garage and laundry room.  I’ve still got a lot of deep cleaning to tackle as well.  But, we are coming along…slowly.



While I am looking forward to the summer months and warmer weather, I will miss one thing about the winter months: Camouflage


I’ve gotten into the habit of wearing a long sleeved shirt and rotating through the three Old Navy performance fleece vests I own.  Every time I put on my constantly shrinking jeans I can’t help but want to cover up the excess that hangs over the top of my pants.  I’ve had a love-hate, but mostly hate, relationship with my muffin top through the years.  The relationship hasn’t improved much.


I’m back to feeling like a stuffed sausage in my clothes.  I remember feeling this way when I went from a size 14 to a size 16.  It isn’t a very pleasant experience to be feeling this way again…even if you try to make light of the situation.


In all honestly, it isn’t funny.  I have a very serious problem going on.  I can either continue to let it get worse or I can finally do something about it.  The choice is up to me and only me.

I wonder how weird it would be to wear a performance fleece vest with a short sleeved shirt and shorts in the summer months?


Eight Years Of Marriage Plus A Recap

Today is my eighth wedding anniversary. 


You know you are getting older when you both work on your anniversary instead of taking the day off!  We will be celebrating on Thursday with massages and dinner at Tucanos.  Then next week we head to our favorite vacation spot Las Vegas!

Here are some blogs I’ve written about our wedding, honeymoon, and anniversaries.  There might be some repeat details written between them all.  I’ll post them here for easy reading.  Some have photo overload!


We took a road-trip honeymoon a few months after our wedding to the Oregon Coast and Seattle.




We celebrated our sixth year with a weekend trip to Ketchum and Sunny Valley.



I'm A Stress Eater

I never considered myself a stress eater.


When we would have the talk about emotional eating in my WW meetings I knew I could check off the box for boredom eating.  I didn’t really think I struggled with stress eating or anxiety eating.  Changing jobs in the middle of last year really tested my stress level and was the start of eating (and drinking) when I would feel stressed.  It wasn’t as if eating made me feel relief from the stress, instead I would develop a “fuck it” attitude and just want to eat (or drink) in response to what I was feeling.

I know this is an issue because it happened again on Friday.  I am working a mid-shift that overlapped the day shift and the swing shift by one hour Friday and Saturdays.  Because of this I work until 5pm instead of 4pm.  Fridays are also our Double Team days where there is twice the amount of patrol officers working.  There should be twice the amount of dispatchers working but often during the hours of 4pm and 8pm there is just minimal staff scheduled and not any extra.

On Friday we were really shorted staffed.  There was a communication issue between the supervisors and instead of five people scheduled at 4pm we only had four people.  That meant that the side Lindsay was working on had to take on additional officers.  While there wasn’t a huge amount of troopers working in each area separately but between the two there was 17 officers and one dispatcher…me.

After an hour of working by myself and fearful I’d have to stay late despite having plans right after work, I was able to go home on time.  I was still really upset and pissed off and the first thing I thought was “I want Mexican food.”  We had plans to meet my parents for dinner at SouperSalad but eating chips and salsa sounded so good.  At dinner I ate two breadsticks and had some pound cake with strawberries and whip cream.  That wasn’t in the plan before I left work upset.

I know that stress drives my eating choices and it is a new development that I need to zone in on more and work harder to overcome.  Being mindful of the behavior and recognizing that stress may cause me to stray from my plan is a very important first step.


It's Good To Have A Plan

I never made it to a WW meeting on my days off this last week.  Good news though, I saw my WW Leader Donna at Original Pancake House on Thursday morning when I was skipping my meeting.  She happened to be skipping too!  But, her absence was for good reason as her sister was visiting.  Mine was because I wanted pancakes.  It was good to see her.  We should have held our own mini-WW meeting but I’m not sure that would have qualified towards earning a charm.  There just wasn’t enough time left this week to attend another meeting and since you can only miss one of the allotted meetings over the next six weeks, I won’t be getting the new charm they are offering.  I love WW bling so I am quite sad.

I have started my work week and will have very busy days ahead.  I know having a plan will make the week much more successful.  I’m working a five-day stretch because I thought we had our annual Ladies Day at Duck Ranch next Saturday.  However, the date changed to April 9th.  So after working for five days I’ll have almost four whole days off.  Yahoooo!

I know I need to get back into activity and make a return appearance to Curves.  I signed up for a virtual run/walk and I have four miles to complete before the end of the month.  Since we are going to Vegas that last week of the month, I need to get my four miles completed sometime over the next couple of weeks.

Here is what is on the agenda and my rough plan:

Today: I’m at work and then I might meet-up with my parents and my sister at a local bar to see our cousin Tyler.  He is part of the Meridian Fire Department’s pipes and drums and they are doing a “pub crawl” starting at The Curb at 6pm.  We are thinking we might meet up to see him and…oh I don’t know…maybe have a Guinness?

Sunday: regular work day and then yard work.  We are supposed to have crazy warm temps and I need to tackle the backyard.  I’ll be getting in some APs after I get off work.

Monday: work and then straight to Curves.  I’ll be packing my bag with a change of clothes so I can go straight to Curves from work.  It is the best way to stay accountable.

Tuesday: work and another day of packing my bag and driving straight to Curves after.

Wednesday: the painters are coming to start painting part of the inside of the house.  I think this is my best day to attend a WW meeting even though my preferred day would be Thursday.  I can also attend the Saturday morning meeting as a fallback option.  I’ve actually been really curious about that new leader so I might consider that.

Thursday: the window washer is coming at 9am and the carpet cleaners are coming at 12:30pm.  Kenyon and I have a belated anniversary date for massages and dinner at Tucanos….Yahoo!

Friday: I asked to take part of the day off work so I am only working 6am-10am.  The painters are coming to paint the rest of the inside of the house.  This would be a great day to get in my four miles if the weather looks decent.

Saturday: if I have not been able to attend a WW meeting, I will attend the 8am meeting and if I have not completed my four miles, I’ll commit to completing it afterwards.  I have a Scentsy party from 1pm-3pm and the professional stagers are coming to the house at 5pm.

I’m back to work on Sunday and Monday.  The professional photographers are coming to take photos on Monday so the house has to be ready to go that morning.  I want to make sure I stick to my plan but I also have to remember that getting the house ready to go is the top priority.  There is still a lot of outside work to be done and I’ve got a lot of inside deep cleaning too. 

I know once we get the house listed and/or get another buyer things will slow down again.  I don’t want to use it as an excuse to continue to derail me from getting back on course.  I do plenty of that on my own!


Another St. Patty's Day In The Books

Oh my gosh…I need a zillion more hours in the day!  I’ve been MIA the last two days because they were super busy with packing/moving/cleaning, etc.  The story of my life eh?

We had a great turnout for St. Patty’s Day last night at Old Chicago.  I had put the word out to my girlfriends to see who wanted to get together for a green beer, which turned into having Guinness instead after I tried it on Saturday.  We had a total of eight as well as Kenyon who came along to be not only my DD (Designated Driver) but my DGLGD (Designated Good Looking Guinness Driver). 


At one point Jamie and Kevin even came for a quick beer/visit in between the stuff that had going on yesterday.  The service at Old Chicago was a bit slow but the food was really good.  We shared a few different appetizers and then Kenyon and I split a calzone.  When I used to go to Old Chicago all the time the calzone was the highlight of the menu.  They actually have several really great looking food items.  We loved the deep fried cheese curds.  Who doesn’t love melty cheese?

I’ve been getting a group together for St. Patty’s Day for the last several years.  I am so happy I have such a great group of friends.



I’m hoping to get back to my WW meetings on a regular basis starting this week.  I know it will be busy getting our house ready for sale but as I said yesterday, I really need to start putting myself and my health first.

I’ll admit, I’m a bit embarrassed to be returning to meetings, especially my usual Tuesday morning meeting.  I only have Tuesdays off for six weeks and I’m not really sure how many of those I can fit in.  It might end up being a Thursday morning meeting instead but at least I get to see Donna that way.

I don’t expect anybody to say anything to me per se.  But I know from experience sitting in that WW room and seeing a return member looking heavier than when you saw them last.  There is always judgment…even the silent kind.  Obviously embarrassment coupled with all other types of emotions is why WW members that quit have trouble returning.  That stress over returning can lead to even more re-gain and/or gaining all your weight back and then some. 

So, I must swallow my pride and get back to that connected feeling my meetings provide.  I need to seek out support to help me stay accountable to myself and find the motivation to make the small changes needed to yield big results.


Monday Randomness

Monday is about to come to an end for the rest of the world but it is just starting for me.  It’s my last night of graveyard shift.  Yahooo!  I have a 10-hour overtime shift Tuesday but only until 2am. 

We got some bummer news earlier today that the buyer has decided to terminate the contract of the sale of our house.  Being from California, he just didn’t like the polybutylene plumbing that is part of the house.  While our realtor explained that there isn’t anything wrong with the plumbing, it was a deal breaker for him.  So, we will now rush to get our house ready to list.  I’ve got all the appointments set up again and at least this time I get to be on day shift.  Thank goodness!

While I was packing up some of my closet today before work I took note that I have three boxes of shoes.  That doesn’t even include the many converse tennis shoes that are in a shoe bag under the bed.  This leads me to two conclusions: 1) I have a shoe problem (as well as a purse problem) and 2) I have a money-spending problem.


How many pairs of shoes do you own?  It is hard to get rid of any because now we are moving into a house with a walk-in closet.  So now I have room for all my shoes…and more.  Ha!

We took part in Pi Day by going to Blaze Pizza before work.  They were offering a 10-inch pizza per person for $3.14.  I knew the line would be long but I didn’t get there quite as early as I wanted.  We ended up standing in line for 50 minutes and I took my pizza to work as we ran out of time.  It was worth the wait through as it was delicious.


I had hoped to get back into the swing of things by dragging my lazy self to Curves for a workout today.  I went to bed around 6:30am and woke up at 11:30am.  Since I then found out about the sale of our house falling through, I couldn’t get back to sleep.  Instead of releasing some stress by going for a workout, I lounged on the couch and ate granola out of the box.  Finally I made myself get up and pack a few boxes.  I am not sure I’ll get back to Curves tomorrow but it just depends on how much I can sleep before my overtime shift. 

Since we are now in the rush to get the last of our house packed up and ready for sale, I know it will be really busy for the next two weeks.  I need to try and carve out some time for exercise.  Besides the fact I need to get on the forward track to a healthier lifestyle, I am paying for my membership.  So, Lazy Lindsay needs a good kick in the pants.


I suppose that is about enough random stuff for one post.  I’m a bit tired today.


I LOVE Guinness!!!

I fit a lot into my two days off on Friday and Saturday.  It was busy!

Friday night Kenyon and I met up with Phoenix and her daughter Kiki to see Phoenix’s friend Naomi Psalm’s band play at the Flying M Coffee House. 


Naomi was the second performer of the evening and the first singer, while really good, was quite alternative.  At one point people were snapping their fingers and waving their heads…I wasn’t sure what I had gotten us into!  However, once Naomi took the stage…wow…she was awesome! 


They asked for a few people to jump up on stage so I encouraged Phoenix to make her move.  We had just talked about how fun it would be to accompany Naomi on stage. 


We stayed until 10pm and even got up and danced on the last song.  I bought one of her CDs and because of our dancing we were given one of her stickers.

Saturday was the annual corned beef and cabbage feed at the Melba Catholic Church.  As usual, it was a huge success and while we waited to get in (doors opened late) there was a huge line behind us.  I was excited to drink some green beer.


Once we got inside we found out they were offering unlimited Guinness if you bought their glass for $10.  I have never tried Guinness and I don’t really like dark beer.  I decided I’d have a sip of Dad’s once he got his.  OMG…sooooo goood!  Dad said it tasted like cold coffee and he is exactly right.  It was delicious!  I went and bought a glass hoping to just give it to Mom when I was done so they had a set.  Well in the meantime I passed Dad going to get Mom a glass.  I ended up giving my glass to my sister Jenny.  But…not before I filled it THREE times.  Yes, Guinness is that good.  And, I had Kenyon with me who was my DD for the night.


I put together a St. Patty’s Day group to go to Old Chicago on Thursday where I am looking forward to more delicious Guinness.

I’m back at work for Sunday, Monday, and overtime on Tuesday.  Then I get to start my rotation to day shift.  I’m very ready to rotate!


Friday On A Thursday

I love when my Friday falls on a Thursday.  I am really ready for days off!!!  I will have two days off and then I’m back to work on Sunday and Monday for my last two graveyard shifts (for at least 12 weeks).  I really wish I didn’t have two more graves left after the weekend but oh well.  What can you do?  I’ll be getting new days off as well when I change shifts next week.  I am very ready for shift change.

Friday I am meeting my friend Phoenix for a concert in the evening and Saturday is the annual St. Patty’s Day corned beef and cabbage feed at the Melba Catholic Church.  I think Kenyon and I are planning to go.  I’m due for some green beer and green sherbet.  Plus, it is a reason to wear a tiny hat!

I am still not getting adequate sleep.  Mostly it is my fault.  I wake up and have trouble getting back to sleep.  Thankfully I was able to grab a short nap before I headed into work tonight.  I was up earlier than planned because we had a meeting with our mortgage broker’s office.  I’m finding that when you buy or sell a house it tends to come in waves.  We had a lot do to/sign/meet-with once we got an offer on our house and finalized the contract on the CBH home.  Then we had a lull with mostly just email exchanges.

The inspection for our current home was on Monday and it seems since then things are now hopping.  I guess the inspection showed our air conditioner was near the end of its life so a HVAC contractor is coming over tomorrow afternoon.  There will also be a plumber coming but we aren’t sure why.  The buyer has asked for an extension through Tuesday.  We hope this is still good news and that the buyer is looking to perhaps make the repairs/replacements on their own vs ask us to.  But, until Tuesday we won’t know for sure.

The scary part about a home inspection is that the buyer can decide to no longer buy the house.  We are still in a good position since our house has not been officially on the market and if something falls through we can work to get our house ready to list.  I really do like this buyer so I hope it will all work out.  It’s funny because when you tell somebody the buyer has a VA loan, they make the same “yikes” sort of expression.  The VA has some tough standards when it comes to their lending.  So we are sort of on egg shells until we know what will happen.  It isn’t making waiting any easier.

We got word from CBH that our build job is moving forward.  They are working on the official plans and drawing the permits.  We have to wait between four and six weeks until we can schedule our final Design Studio appointment.  Again, it is just more waiting.  Kenyon and I do plan to pop into the Design Studio and continue to look over the options so we can narrow down our choices and get a good idea of costs.  It also helped to meet with the mortgage broker today as she was able to show us the bottom line for monthly house payment.  That helps keep me grounded on getting out of control with Design Studio upgrade options.

I think we are sort of at another lull through Tuesday.  Then we will see what happens.  In the meantime we need to keep packing/boxing/moving all that we can so when we do hopefully secure our closing date that we are ready to go!


Oh The Joys Of Being A Woman

I attended a Ladies Seminar at the local hospital before I came into work tonight.  It was really informative and I wished all my female friends could have attended.  The topic was on Women’s Health at Every Age.

The seminar was taught by certified midwives, which surprised me.  When I think of a midwife I think if birthing babies.  I don’t think about midwives as being any other type of medical professional that can oversee all avenues of women’s health.  I love my current “woman doctor” and I have no desire to change.  However, if I was in search of a new doctor I was highly impressed with the group of women I just met.  At the end of the seminar one of the women asked if Danielle and I were friends.  We explained we wanted our other friends to come, much like they do for the MS talks, but that they were busy.  We also commented on how there was snacks served!  I knew getting my other friends to come would be a tough sell because there was no free dinner served as they do at the MS talks.  The midwife commented “you guys would have been fun to have in our para-menopause seminar.  I had wanted to attend that one but had a conflict.

It was a small group full of no judgment by the other women if you wanted to share or ask any questions.  Then if you didn’t feel as though you wanted to be so bold you could write your questions down on a piece of paper ahead of time to be read and answered out loud.  I wasn’t the youngest in the group and it appeared only one woman was still interested in child bearing.  The rest of us were more in the age range of para-menopause or menopause. 

Oh the joys of being a woman and what I have to look forward to.


Is Motivation Lurking Below The Surface?

I have been the poorest example of healthy eating and exercise as of late.  I swear I am avoiding the scale because I am so fearful of what it will say.


On Sunday I motivated myself to go out for a walk by picking a walking route that weaved through a nearby neighborhood building other CBH Homes (the builder that is building our home).  I wanted to get an idea for some outside paint schemes and figured this was a great way to get in exercise and complete my mission.  I must look pretty sketchy taking photos of people’s houses.  I even walked up to peek in a window of a supposedly vacant house.  Nope, not vacant after all.  Whoops.

(These are not the same house we are building but I like the grayish/blueish color outer and then perhaps pick a fun pop of color for the front door)

Anyway, it has been since February 19th that I actually logged a true honest workout.  Gulp!  I’ve been getting some activity on the weekends between packing and moving but I’ve not sought out anything formal.  Either the people whom work at at Curves think something tragic has happened to me or they are just happy they are still getting my $41 a month.

The desire to make more positive changes is there.  I can feel it.  I have to draw it out little by little and find that drive I once had for Weight Watchers, healthy eating, and exercise.  While packing up my closet I told Kenyon that I’m setting a goal for myself that when I unpack all my size 14s, I want to fit into them again.  If not, then I am donating them.  I am just not ready to part with all those clothes.  I really want to get back into my existing wardrobe.  With summer right around the corner I am reminded once again that I no longer can count on my clothes fitting from season to season. 

It is enough depression to drive a person to eat and drink (more) which isn’t the answer.  Instead I need to harness this depressed mood and put that energy into something more productive.  I can’t hide anymore and I can’t keep avoiding the scale or my WW meeting.  I’m looking forward to next Tuesday when I am back on dayshift for 12 weeks.  I will be able to attend my Tuesday morning meeting again and I hope my favorite WW peeps can pep me up and get me re-motivated. 

It is ALWAYS up to me as I am accountable to myself.