Is Motivation Lurking Below The Surface?

I have been the poorest example of healthy eating and exercise as of late.  I swear I am avoiding the scale because I am so fearful of what it will say.


On Sunday I motivated myself to go out for a walk by picking a walking route that weaved through a nearby neighborhood building other CBH Homes (the builder that is building our home).  I wanted to get an idea for some outside paint schemes and figured this was a great way to get in exercise and complete my mission.  I must look pretty sketchy taking photos of people’s houses.  I even walked up to peek in a window of a supposedly vacant house.  Nope, not vacant after all.  Whoops.

(These are not the same house we are building but I like the grayish/blueish color outer and then perhaps pick a fun pop of color for the front door)

Anyway, it has been since February 19th that I actually logged a true honest workout.  Gulp!  I’ve been getting some activity on the weekends between packing and moving but I’ve not sought out anything formal.  Either the people whom work at at Curves think something tragic has happened to me or they are just happy they are still getting my $41 a month.

The desire to make more positive changes is there.  I can feel it.  I have to draw it out little by little and find that drive I once had for Weight Watchers, healthy eating, and exercise.  While packing up my closet I told Kenyon that I’m setting a goal for myself that when I unpack all my size 14s, I want to fit into them again.  If not, then I am donating them.  I am just not ready to part with all those clothes.  I really want to get back into my existing wardrobe.  With summer right around the corner I am reminded once again that I no longer can count on my clothes fitting from season to season. 

It is enough depression to drive a person to eat and drink (more) which isn’t the answer.  Instead I need to harness this depressed mood and put that energy into something more productive.  I can’t hide anymore and I can’t keep avoiding the scale or my WW meeting.  I’m looking forward to next Tuesday when I am back on dayshift for 12 weeks.  I will be able to attend my Tuesday morning meeting again and I hope my favorite WW peeps can pep me up and get me re-motivated. 

It is ALWAYS up to me as I am accountable to myself.

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