Weekly WI: 200s...Again

Good Morning! Happy Wednesday.

I am a day late in posting my Weekly Weigh-In as it was a busy day where I was on the go for most of it.  I won’t leave you hanging and the title probably gave it away.  I gained 0.2 pounds thus I am still in the 200s.

I don’t know how to feel about this.  There are many sides to experiencing a weight gain trend that you weren’t expecting and thought you had a handle on.  It is like a swinging pendulum between “I got this” and “What if I don’t.”  I think if anything experience had taught me that I will always struggle with the balance between losing weight and engaging in social activities.  So much of the time it feels like I can have on or the other but not both.  I am constantly swinging back and forth with thought of “should I” and “I shouldn’t.”  It is exhausting.  

It is also so weird to be here again.  It isn’t new territory and recently Facebook memories reminded me that I had finally made it back to Onederland after a five year hiatus.  Heck, I even spent a whole year in Onederland in 2021.  This time it is just…depressing.  Enter the pendulum again.

On one hand, I feel good.  I’ll admit I saw a photo of myself posted by a member that reached goal and I thought I looked pregnant.  So that was a bit defeating.  But, over all, I feel good.  I’ve been back to the gym at least twice a week engaging in the harder classes that push my body.  When I am pushing my body and working it hard, I feel so strong and I love that feeling.  My clothes still fit, maybe with a little more muffin top lately.  I have been living life enjoying time with friends.  Over all, pretty darn good.

The other hand reminds me that I am not where I want to be and I am so much further away from my doctor’s note goal weight which is also my employee goal weight.  I feel like I’m letting my company down by being 10+ pounds (gulp) from that goal weight that I still have not been able to hit since being offered a position as a WW coach.  GAH!

If I had a third hand, it would also be keeping me grounded as I KNOW what it feels like to gain 80 pounds and how much work, time, and effort it took to love 60 of that re-gain.  That part of me say, “no way are you going back there.”  If I have to evaluate what is worth it and what is not, hands down…gaining a shit ton of weight is NOT worth it.

As for today, I am finishing my coffee that has turned cold and will get myself ready for the gym.  One day at a time and one meal at a time.  I felt very successful yesterday after saying no to a social situation I actually invited myself along.  I just didn’t need it when I have a social situation I am looking forward to today even more.  And, I won’t let this social day deter the remainder of my week.  

One day at a time and one meal at a time.