A Pretty Ugly WI

I barely squeaked by getting my WI done in the month of February.  I attended a meeting last night at the center by my house.  It was a leader I don’t particularly care for but it was still a good meeting.  We talked about goals and the importance of making sure they are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time sensitive).  She came up with a great analogy where we all made a paper airplane and started in the back of the room to throw it as the bulls-eye (goal) drawn on the white board.  We quickly realized that unless you make an amazing paper airplane that you had to get closer to the board to hit your intended goal.  It is easy to want to focus too much on the big picture and when we don’t achieve those large goals we often feel we are less-than-perfect. 

When we talk about goals and more specifically the WHY for joining WW, I am reminded that the why that brought me to WW nine years ago isn’t the same why today.  While nine years ago I could barely buckle a seatbelt on a plane, today I would love for my clothes to fit better.  While nine years ago I wasn’t active at all, today I would love to be more active than I have been in several months.  The one thing that hasn’t changed is how overwhelming it feels to have to lose weight again.  I thought 130 pounds seemed overwhelming nine years ago and yet here I sit with 50 pounds of re-gain to lose and it feels just as overwhelming.

That is why small goals are important.  Today I started with weighing and measuring my food again.

My WI was ugly.  I have not been to an official WI at my WW meeting since the week of January 30^th.  Three weeks later and I have gained an additional six pounds.  Ugh.  I’ve been hitting new highs on the scale that I’ve not seen in over seven years when I was going through my weight loss phase.  It is really sad and I am very upset with myself for letting it get this bad. 

There was a guy in the meeting that shared his story behind the five pound star he earned.  He has been working on this star since April of 2014.  His doctor wanted him to lose another five pounds so he could get off a medication.  He has been at goal for quite some time and knows this will be his last star earned.  He said that he never thought years ago somebody would tell him he would need the WW program to lose his 67 pounds.  You could feel the energy around him as he spoke of WW and his loss.  He was so proud.  I miss that feeling and I almost starting crying right there in the meeting. 

When I look back at my current WI record I can see that I have gained 11 pounds since the first date on record in the book on December 12, 2015.  Why did I let it get so bad?