It Has Been A Week

It has been a week.

Like seriously, it has been a week.  I am not sad to see February go.  What is interesting is that I appear to struggle when February rolls around.  I’m not sure why.  If I had to really dig deep, I’m sure I could come up with some reasons.  But, historically, I seem to lose really great in January then slow in February before having another great loss in March.  Of course the shortest month of the year is the hardest.  Well…not really the hardest month.  I sure do struggle with summer and social fun.  We will save all that for another post.

So, February…

My FB Memories has been remaining me how much of a struggle it was to lose the last five pounds and finally get to my doctor’s goal weight of 175 pounds.  That was 11 years ago.  Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago.  And sometimes I can remember all the feels.  So, in the weeks to come, more good memories will surface and I plan to allow myself to enjoy all those happy thoughts.  Even though I am feeling like I’m on the struggle bus, a tiny one but still occupying a seat on the bus, there are still happy memories that deserve to be reflected upon.

This last week has been rough.  I am feeling a lot of guilt for all my indulgences.  I definitely fell into the trap of  “end of month” mentality.  I was eating meals with family and while they were WW-friendly and/or low point meals, it is hard to eat around others on the WW plan.  Does anybody else struggle with that? 

On one hand, you don’t want to be too “perfect” in front of somebody on the WW plan.  You don’t want to make them feel judged for their food decisions all while you are feeling slightly judged for yours.  

On the other hand, I also want others on the WW plan to see that everyday doesn’t have to be a blue dot 100% stellar day.  It is okay to plan a high point day.  It is okay to use your WSPA.  It is okay to live a little once in a while.

I am proud of myself for tracking this week.  Even though it was going to be nasty and even though I risked not earning a blue dot, some days I was surprised.  And, the days I did plan an indulgence, I balanced it with low point/zero point foods and meals.  That surely helped keep my day looking a bit less scary.  I ended up in the negative points after Saturday’s pizza party at work.  

The one thing I didn’t plan this week was dessert!  Cookies in the dispatch center that I kept nibbling on as well as spending points for Built Bars.  Oh my.  I’m going to have to partake in a serious detox this week and it will be tough but I’ll do it!  Plus, I should have my Built Bars Monday.  They seemed to have taken a road trip around the Pacific Northwest.  DOH!

I was going to make sure I earned some roll-over points on both Sunday and Monday so I could at least end my week no longer in the negative.  

Then my Built Bars finally got delivered so I just had to plan one in for dessert later today.

No matter how big the gain is this week, I am proud of my tracking.  There was even a few times I talked myself out of an indulgence (ice cream cravings like crazy this week).  I also had some mental struggles this week with my yearly mammogram visit.  Nothing like having to start getting annual mammograms at 40 years old to have the first one stress you out.  But, all seems to be good for another year so that is what matters.

I really, really, really hope I am not back in the 210s this week.  I have no idea what to prepare myself for.  I have debated on and off if I even want to get on the scale tomorrow.  But, I think I need to.  I think it is important to own up to those weeks where it doesn’t quite go as planned, but you survived!  And that is what matters most,