Using Your "Story Brain"

In October, I attended to a two-day Crucial Conversations training to assist me in my supervisory role at work.  Before you can have a conversation with somebody else, you have to take a long hard look at what you are doing.  One way we can hold a conversation with somebody else (or even ourselves) is to Master Our Story which is how you stay in dialogue when you’re angry, scared, or upset. We are wired as humans to make assumptions based on more than just facts.  Facts only go so far and if we don’t know the other side of the story, we start to invent our own version of the story.  The more we move into our “story brain,” the more we move away from the facts.  When we recognize we are going into our “story brain,” we can hopefully pull ourselves back out and look at the facts again.  

Here is an example of a script I can use when talking to my employee: “I noticed that (fact, fact, fact).  This leads me to conclude that (story, story, story).  Can you help me better understand?”

Since this training, I have noticed with myself how easy it is to slip into my “story brain.”  Instead, I need to get back to the facts.  When we catch ourselves slipping back into our “story brain,” explore if it is time to get back to looking at the facts or if we need better understanding as to why we started to invent a story.