When Weight Loss Becomes Obsessive

I used to watch The Biggest Loser faithfully. 

Kai and Nicole are still my favorite contestants of all time.  And the year Ali won was fantastic!  It was so great to see a woman win BL.

 

In my pre-WW days I would make sure I set aside time to watch BL.  I would get my Chinese take-out, pull out my TV tray, and tell myself “I’m going to do that!”  It took a few years though for me to really embrace the weight loss and exercise lifestyle.

I continued to watch BL but it now seemed different.  In my pre-WW days I wished I could be one of them.  Now, I was one of them.  I understood their struggles.  I understood why it was so hard.  I understood the happy feeling they had for turning their life around.  I could relate on so many levels.

I could also relate on the level of going to extremes to see the pounds on the scale drop.  I played scale games in eating very little the day before my WI and never eating or drinking on the morning of WI.  If I was attending an evening WW meeting then I would eat as light as possible and cut off my fluids before I had to get on the scale.  Even better was if I could poop before I had to WI.  Hey…every little bit counts!

I wore the lightest clothes possible for WI and took my shoes off.  Once I hit my 75 pounds lost I stopped WI in jeans.  While I didn’t actually weight my “WI outfit” (and yes this does happen) I would often put on a few different outfits and then get on the scale each time.

I have declined social events if I was too stressed about the number or if I was trying really hard for a loss.  I wouldn’t go to a social event if it was the day before my WI.  I also didn’t usually eat out the day before WI.

I would eat very little during the week staying “on plan” only to overeat on the day of my WI after I had stepped on the scale.  Food that day was never really tracked either.

I was at the gym for hours.  When Kenyon would work night shift I wouldn’t really know what to do with myself.  If you stay at home you think about food.  So I went to the Y.  I would spend two hours at the gym in the evenings. 

I was obsessed with food!  I talked about it; I thought about it; and I talked about thinking about it.  I drove my coworkers crazy talking about points and food. 

I cried.  Sometimes I cried a lot.

Losing a large amount of weight isn’t easy.  It is also not something the average person does and so finding somebody that related to what you were going through was tough.  The contestants on the BL understood what I was going through.  I would make connections with some of them on Facebook and just like a celebrity I would get excited when they would comment back to me.  I understood the journey they were on and I wanted to show them I supported them.

If you think losing weight alone is tough can you imagine what losing weight on national television is like?  Or losing weight for the purpose of winning money?  I can tell you now I would trade all the money in the world to go on my weight loss journey again and see the same results.  I am really happy with my weight loss and my maintenance that money doesn’t even tempt me.  I got my life back and that is all the monetary compensation I need.

The contestants that go on BL might have prize money as part of their reason to lose the weight but hopefully, and usually, they eventually see that the healthy lifestyle they gain is the real prize.  I can’t comment on Rachel’s recent win on BL.  I have not watched BL in a few years.  I did watch some of the pre-finale episode and also some of the finale.  I wanted to get an idea of what Rachel looked like before she left the ranch and at the finale. 
 

Obviously social media is in uproar on how Rachel looked at the finale.  Whether she was too skinny or not, I do feel bad she has to live hearing such hateful comments.  It isn’t easy being fat.  It isn’t easy losing weight.  Now she doesn’t even get to enjoy the moment her hard work paid off.  After all, prize money was always part of the motivation.

Regardless of how Rachel looked or if she lost too much weight, her BMI is under the healthy recommendation.  That is a problem.  I know what it is like to become obsessed with losing weight.  I felt the pressure of it just in my small community.  Adding the millions of viewers on national television would have only compounded it.  I hope Rachel gets the help and guidance she needs to find the right balance for maintaining her weight loss at a level that is healthy and where she is happy.  That is what I would wish for anybody that embarks on a weight loss journey to lose 100 pounds or more.