My mental state has improved this week and I have been on track earning blue dots each day thus far. While I am still trying to get my meal plan figured out before we head out of town on Monday, I am proud of myself for staying focused. I know eating out and alcohol is in my near future and keeping myself on track now is super important.
When the urge to eat out strikes, I remind myself that I’ll be doing plenty of eating out next week. The Hubs and I even talked ourselves out of ordering pizza the other night. I was really overboard on Monday and was miserable afterwards. It feels so good to be back on track and in control. I hope my hard work will reflect on the scale come Monday (a day early weight-in due to travel).
I also did some reflecting on my weight journey to help me gain some perspective and find that spark to continue to push through. I always feel that a gain is temporary as long as you get back on track. It is more so what you do the following week that allows it to be temporary or permanent weight gain. I really want this 1.4 pound gain from last week to stay temporary! And the ball is entirely in my court.
Looking over the last year through my WW weight graph:
When I reflect on the last month, these ups and down are killing me…mentally if nothing else! I shared this photo with my local WW group on Connect saying “I am ready to get off this roller coaster!” The last few month have felt like so many ups and downs, that when I look at just the last four weeks, it feels deflating and that I’m not making much progress. It is really hard to continue to be positive, work the plan and stay the course.
When I reflect on the last three months, I have the blaring reminder that I was once again in ONEderland only to remember that I am no longer still in ONEderland. I think this is where my biggest mental hurdle is tripping me up. I feel disappointment in myself for getting back into the 200s. I wish I had worked harder and tried more. I wish I had not indulged as much while on my McCall Girls Weekend. I find that if I really sit with my thought, it is easy to go from mad to sad to telling myself all sort of negative self talk.
But the truth is, I enjoyed my mini getaway and I needed it more than anything for my mental health. As you all know, this COVID crap is so hard to deal with day after day. I needed that break. Unfortuntaly, a mental break for me also comes with mindless eating and drinking. Thus, I am no longer in ONEderland. I cannot keep punishing myself for this uptick. I just have to stay focused and keep working towards my health and fitness goals.
When I reflect over the last year, this is where I am the most proud of myself. Last year, I gained 10 pounds over the Summer months. Oy! This was after getting a handle of my 10 pound Fall/Winter gains. Despite having a 1.4 pound gain last week, I weigh 17 pounds less than I did a year ago. That, is definitely success and the reason why it is important to take a step back and look at a bigger picture.
I will get back under 200 pounds and I will reach my new WW doctor note goal weigh of 190. There is no timeline on weight loss and maintenance. The biggest takeaway over this last year is how good I feel. I feel so much better in my clothes. I am much more confident. I am happy and I am healthy. That alone is enough to continue this journey.
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