When Negative Self-Talk Occurs

I'm not usually one to talk negatively to myself. I'm human so it still happens but I try not to put myself down. I caught myself doing it on Monday.

I was at the outlet mall (or what is left of our really tiny outlet mall) at Eddie Bauer spending my free $10 certificate I found in my email inbox. On my way out of the complex I spotted the Lee's Outlet and wanted to see if I could find the slacks I like in the tall size. Side note: I'm not tall but the average seem to be a bit short when I'm wearing my Dansko clogs. Anyway, I didn't have much luck in the slack department but I spotted the intimates department. It is hard to find lingerie of a sexy variety in some stores and for a decent price. At the outlet mall they had a nice section for a really great price.

I thought I might see if I could find something sexy and pretty to wear for Kenyon to spice things up. I started looking at the tags, S, M, L, and thought to myself, “don't they have the size FAT.” Whoa. There it was. That negative self-talk that didn't need to be said but was exactly what I was thinking at that moment. Don't we all wish we looked like a Victoria Secret model? It sure would make shopping for clothes 10x easier.

I finally found the XL size and went to try it on. Good thing I did because I have no idea whose size that XL was for. Clearly it was not the same XL that I needed and no way did it look sexy. That was enough for me to scrap trying on anything else. I think if I had to go bigger than an XL, I might have started crying.

The one thing I did find that fit was a tiny Santa hat. Thank goodness something tiny still fits me.