I’ve been feeling down lately. I keep wishing we could go back to the way it was before. That if I had known the COVID-19 pandemic was coming, I could have tried to prepare more…but how? I don’t know. I am just feeling in a summer bummed out mood and I know most of it is connected to travel.
It has been about three months since our last vacation. I am really missing the adventures, the food, the alcohol, and the happy feeling boost traveling gives me.
I’ve been really sad this week thinking about all the cancellations this summer. Festivals, concerts, and life in general being placed on the back burner and struggling to really understand why. It is hard some days to know what to believe and what to feel about COVID-19. All I know is I feel robbed of happiness right now.
I want to go back. I want to be able to see my friends and eat out at restaurants. I want to go to breweries, wineries, and visit with friends as well as strangers.
And I really want to travel.
We have had to have some difficult conversations at work as a supervisor on where we go for the remainder of this fiscal year and into next fiscal year. We might not be able to approve more than one person to be off on vacation at one time. This is causing conflicts with my own time-off requests. Something I desperately look forward to and even then, nothing it “planned” until the end of July. It makes me start to feel like a caged animal not allowed to do anything.
Obviously, when I really sit back and think about all the happy things I have going in my life, that helps me try and not stay in this dark place too long. Some days it is easier than others. I’ve been spending a lot of time out on the patio. I have enjoyed just sitting out there with a cocktail and enjoying the breeze and warm weather. It has helped my mood at times. We are having such beautiful weather right now.
I have no idea where I’m going with this post and I really want to end it on a high note. But for today, I’m feeling sad. And I’ll hope tomorrow is better.
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