Quality Friendships

Hello there.

I met my friend Kate to walk the mall before coming into work this evening.  We walked for over an hour and complete five loops.  It is nice to get in a dose of activity that doesn’t feel like exercise due to chatting away with a friend.  Once the weather improves, along with my work schedule, I hope to invite some of my friends and my fellow WW meeting members out for a walk and talk.  Now, if we can just keep the rain at bay!

I know Kate through Jamie.  We met several years ago and became quick friends as we are a lot alike.  Kate is also my published author friend which is super exciting and feels like I know a celebrity.  Anyway, during our walk we chatted about how lately it feels like our circle of friends has gotten smaller.  I’m not sure if that comes with age, with realizing that you don’t share the same values you once did with your friends, or if it is just being too busy.

I hate the word “busy.”  I’ve always prided myself in disagreeing when I hear my coworkers say that you can’t have a life with the hours we work.  You can have a life…just not the traditional 9-5 life.  Since the most of the world revolves around a 9-5 lifestyle it can be hard to keep those close knit friendships.  The biggest struggle I have is friends that make plans and then cancel or those that says they miss me and can’t wait to spend time with me and yet when I suggest a time and place, they reply with “let me check” and I never hear back from then.  I’m pretty rough in that I often only give friends a couple of chances to cancel before I stop inviting them.

Sadly, they seem to stop inviting me along too.

That leaves me questioning if they are a quality friend to begin with.  But, it doesn’t hurt your feeling any less.  I do feel I am at a time in my life that unless Kenyon can be included (or would feel comfortable tagging along) that I often want to spend what little time I do have on days off in the company of him.  Now, when Kenyon is working and I am not, then it is a free-for-all with whatever friend I can convince to spend time with me.

The quality of friends is more important than the quantity of friends.  I have had friends in the past whom have taken advantage of me and who are only there when they need something but not there when I have needs.  Friends can also ebb and flow and somebody that I haven’t talked to in forever can become an instant friend again.  Slowly though, that communication often dwindles again like it did once before.  It does make me start to worry that my friends don’t reach out to me for fear I am too “busy” or that my schedule is too complicated to hang out. 

So, when Kate sent me a text asking what day I could get together for a mall walk/talk, I was so excited I immediately gave her a small window of days/times.  I am so thankful that she was willing to work around my crazy schedule.  And I am so glad we were able to connect.  It is those quality friendships that I miss the most.