I Did A Thing

I didn’t start using eTools until after I met goal (175 pounds which is a doctor’s note). At that time, I set my eTool starting weight as 175 instead of my actual starting weight. This was mostly so I could track maintenance and work hard to keep my weight inside my goal range 173-177.

For many more times than necessary over the last 5 years, I have allowed that + in front of the “since start” number make me crazy, angry, and even sad.  But it has also helped to motivate me.  In an odd way, seeing that + number start to go down as I started to get closer to my 175 goal weight, it did help motivate me.

I had a conversation with a workshop member/friend where I was telling her how it was sad to be working so hard but seeing a + instead of a - and where I am in this moment, my goal isn’t to maintain but to lose weight.  I want to see that - number.

Since I’m working really hard to read-claim 100 pounds lost, I decided yesterday to change my eTools start weight to my original start weight (304.8 pounds). This is what I needed to see to help keep the motivation going. It feels great to see the – again.

When the time comes that I settle again at my goal weight (whatever that weight may be), I might need something different to focus on.  But for now, in order to keep going forward, I need focus on being thankful and happy with how much I have lost while not forgetting where I’ve come from and how hard I have worked.

I tell people all the time “don’t make it so difficult” and here I am…making it difficult for no reason.  I already feel at ease.