12/6/19

Thoughts & Reflections Of The Past Year


My final semester of college was the hardest and most taxing semester of my entire college career.  I was taking a required criminal justice course for the third time and I needed a passing grade in order to graduate.  My first attempt at the course was not a passing grade.  My second attempt was the same instructor so I decided to drop the course and try another time when there was a different instructor.  I waited it out a bit and ended up with two choices: attempt the course for the third time with the same darn instructor or delay graduation for a different professor.

So, here I was for my third attempt with the same instructor Dr. Mueller.  As expected, the class was just as enjoyable as it had been during my first attempt.  But, I had no choice.  I had to pass the class.  I finally had to swallow my pride and have a one-on-one with Dr. Mueller so we could figure out how the heck I was going to pass this class.

It was a very cathartic visit.  He wanted to know why I had not passed the first time and why I had dropped the second time.  I was honest and really told him how I was feeling and what I was struggling with.  Dr. Mueller really listened to me and he really, really helped me.  We met and went over study materials before tests.  I worked really hard to improve my scores and spent a lot of time studying.  As the end of the class got closer, I desperately needed my final test score to be a good one.  I was pretty confident that I would be passing the class based on Dr. Mueller’s bell curve grading system.  But, when I got my final test score and saw that I passed all on my own…I was ecstatic.  All my hard work paid off, I passed the class, and I was going to get my diploma.

Of course in hindsight, I wished I had given each class and each year of college that much study commitment!  Maybe if I did, I’d have had a higher final GPA.

Where am I going with this story??  Well, this feels a heck of a lot like my weight loss journey this year.  As the end of the year nears and I have had four months of continued losses, I am wishing I had worked harder earlier in the year to make more headway.  That doesn’t mean I’m not still proud of where I’m at and the possibility of still ending this year re-calming my 100 pounds lost.  And I am feeling more confident that 2020 will be the year I drop back under 200 pounds and re-claim my goal.  Oh man….so exciting!




I just realized when looking over my monthly weight totals for the year that since the end of July, I am down 11.4.  That is freaking amazing!  When I make up my mind and stick to it, I can accomplish anything.  I need to continue to have faith in myself that I can do hard things. 

With my weight back down, I physically and mentally feel really good.  This is the same way I felt back in March when I saw 209 on the scale.  I have not seen that low of a number since August of 2015.

 


There is so much to be thankful for this last year…heck…this last decade.  I continue to learn and grow as I navigate my WW journey and tackle the last of the re-gain weight.  I had my annual physical with my doctor and asked her for a new goal weight note to put on record with my WW meeting.  After a lot of thoughts about where I started, my first time at goal, dealing with re-gain, and finally losing that excess again, I have chosen a doctor's note goal weight of 190 pounds. 




 





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