It's Not Me, It's Definitely You

Dear Slacker Lindsay,

I think it is time we break up. I know this will come as a surprise and I am sorry to have you let you down this way. Our relationship has become quite toxic and it is important I do what is best for me.

You have been so comforting over the last year and a half. With you in my life I haven't had the desire to exercise and instead we have spent many leisurely sunny days indoors on the couch. With you in my life I have splurged more than in years past and we have enjoyed many desserts, social happy hours, and free-for-all days that involve little to no tracking.

I know I shouldn't place all the blame on you. What can I say? You are extremely desirable and before I met you it was starting to feel so difficult. You make it all easy...too easy. You have made it so easy to be lazy my pants no longer fit. This is the #1 reason we need to break up. While comforting, you are no longer good for my health.

Please don't be sad. I am sure you can find somebody else to corrupt. For now, I need to reclaim my life.

Sincerely,

Re-Commited Lindsay