I have a medical appointment today with a new doctor. I have no history with this person and he/she doesn't know my time spent going up the scale and my time spent going down the scale nor do they know how the last year and half have been mostly ups and little downs. It makes me nervous. All those old feelings of guilt start to re-surface. Will there be comments about my weight? Do my cholesterol numbers look remotely healthy? Why haven't I been exercising more?
I'm left feeling like I should have tried harder, done more, and been less selfish when it comes to food temptations and my body.
I hate this feeling. And this feeling is what should drive me to made changes. I don't know why I struggle so much. It is like a switch has been flipped and that person I was who worked so hard to lose 130 pounds just isn't there anymore. I can't discredit all of it. Part of her is still there but I miss that other part. When I felt whole I stuck to it and didn't falter so much.
Food is fuel. Food is fuel. Food is fuel....
|Replace Spring with Doctor Appointment!|