I Had A Mental Breakdown

I had a mental breakdown at my WW meeting yesterday…

…then I went and bought myself some new jeans.

The meeting topic was sort of wrap up of Summer and how you did on the goals you set for yourself.  Since nobody else had anything to contribute, I shared about my current closet situation and the lock of clothes that fit.  Everybody was in agreement about not getting rid of my size 14 clothing.  I talked more with the group about how I was feeling with Fall approaching.  I love Fall and sweater and jeans are my favorite attire.  I didn’t do enough to lose weight so my pants feel comfortable.  I hate feeling like a stuffed sausage in my clothing.  I want to feel confident and happy enjoying my favorite month of the year.  I know that buying bigger pants isn’t a positive thing.  However, it is a reality of once again where I am along this journey.

As usually my WW peeps were very supportive and encouraging and so I went out and bought myself some new pants.  I decided to go to Lane Bryant where I know there is a whole store of stylish clothing and associates that make you feel good about your size.  It really is a much more enjoyable shopping experience when the clerk understands and can relate.  The only problem is they are super expensive…like really, really expensive.  I ended up only buying one pair of pants.  Then I went next door to Maurices and tried on the pants I already have and like just in a larger size.  I was able to get two for less than the one pair at Lane Bryant.  Yikes!  I’ll try them all on again at home and see which ones I want to keep.

I do feel better when I am not uncomfortable in my clothing.  Buying a larger size of clothing is that slippery slope we hate to find ourselves on.  I am still confident in my re-commitment to WW and the investment in myself and my health that this won’t be the end all be all.  I don’t feel as trapped as I have felt in the past when I bought larger clothes.  I am also staying positive in reminding myself that while I am buying a larger size of jeans, it is still a smaller size than when I started WW. 

You must always find the positives in the dimmest of situations.

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