All The Thoughts And Feelings

Good Morning!  Happy Monday to you but Happy (pseudo) Friday to me.  With my new days off now Tuesday – Thursday, I am about to start my “weekend” except that I work overtime on the 4^th of July holiday.  I’ll gladly take the extra payout and I get to wear jeans that day too.  I’m looking forward to some downtime during my days off but I’m also looking forward to getting myself back into an activity schedule.

I went to a Friday morning WW meeting last week before I left town for Silver City.  It was a really great group and one I had popped into a few times over this last rotation at work.  You all already know how much I love my meetings so it was really great to be there to connect.  Sadly, I had a gain, which I was not expecting.  I was even more bummed because I had talked myself out of eating out on Thursday evening.  It was a really busy day at work on Thursday and I was exhausted by the time I got home.  I didn’t even want to think about cooking nor did I really want to go out to eat.  I finally decided to put some chicken in the oven to cook and told Kenyon he could get something on his way home.

I felt so good about my choices because had we eaten out, I would have skipped my meeting all together.  We talked in the meeting about our strengths and now to use them to our advantage when working the program.  Since I had spent some of the weekend with my Mom at the cabin, it was really great to see how committed she is to her WW program.  She has amazing willpower and pays attention to what she is eating.  I realized that if I spent more time with her, I’d be dropping the pounds too.  But, what works for one doesn’t work for everybody.  She has found how the program works for her and has lost over 60 pounds.  She is a Rock Star!  I have not quite found what works for me but I will tell you that what I am doing, isn’t working.  So, I need to make some changes.  Seeing my Mom work her program gets me inspired.

I wrote out some goals for the week and mapped out class at the gym now that I have some time I can go during the weekday morning hours.

 

I haven’t been doing very well when you step back and take a look at my monthly losses since the start of 2018.  I started the year focused on Operation Lighter By Europe and had set a goal to lose five pounds, and keep it off, each month.  As you can see, I have not been meeting those goals.

 

So far, Operation Lighter By Europe is still on track as I have lost a few pounds.  And, I have kept off what I lost a year ago even though that includes some losing/re-gaining/re-losing trends.  I have two months until Europe and it does feel like crunch time.  Since I had a five pound gain after taking five weeks off from meetings, several vacations within those weeks, and had another gain last week, if I can stick to my focus and lose five pounds this month and next month, I’ll might stand a chance in getting into the 2-teens before Europe.

Oh man, that feels like so much pressure.  What I do know is that mentally, I don’t like being back up at 227 pounds.  I feel like I worked way too hard to get down to 220 and made two really good attempts to get into the 2-teens over the last six months to just be back where I started.  I do think the mental break was good for me but then after having another loss on Friday, it really bummed me out. 

I do plan to go to a Tuesday AM meeting since I have to be in Nampa for a hair appointment and the meeting time is right after.  I’ll be attending Tuesday AM meetings again but I’ll go back to a previous location with some very great meeting members.  There is a new leader, Paula, which I was able to meet on Friday.  She seems really nice and I think we will connect.  I know I’ve been missing my WW home for a while now so this change should be good for me.