The Difference A 20 Pound Gain Makes

I went shopping over the weekend.  I wasn’t looking for anything in particular other than some fun color/pattered leggings.  I usually wear tights with dresses and skirts this time of year but thought I would try the leggings-and-tall-boots look.  FYI, I’m IN LOVE with the fleeced lined leggings.  I wish I could fit them under my work pants so I wouldn’t freeze at work.

Anyway, I was also on the hut for a knit sweater-type skirt to go with my leggings vs. just a sweater dress but I also checked out some dresses too.  For the longest time after I got to my goal weight I would over estimate my size and I’d often take into the dressing room the size I needed and the bigger size, “just in case.”  When you lose a large amount of weight it is hard to believe that you are really the tiny size other normal women are.  So while I would take in both sizes I would always fit into the smaller of the two. 

I’ve worn medium/large tops and size 14 bottoms for about five years now.  For about one year I actually wore a size 12.  This last year though my weight has increase and therefore my pants are tighter.  The clothes in my closet still fit but they fit differently now with my extra weight.

It was very eye opening shopping this weekend.  I reached for my usual size 14, and found that most of then didn’t fit.  Like…AT ALL.  I couldn’t get the skirts up over my hips.  The sweater dresses in size L looked a bit tight where XL gave me a little more room.  GULP.

 

I’m working hard to try and reverse this weight gain.  Two years ago the scale was creeping up.  Since last November I’m up an additional ten pounds.  Living this past year with what is now 20 excess pounds on my body has not been enjoyable.  I can try and stay positive and talk kind to myself (which is first and foremost) but I can’t ignore it.  Not knowing what size you wear isn’t a happy feeling.

 

As usual, it isn’t all bad news.  I tried on several items in my closet and while some doesn’t fit, most of it still does.  I want it to fit better, more comfortably, and feel good at how I look in my clothes.  I can’t lose focus of where I want to be and why losing these 20 pounds needs to happen.