1/10/15

Struggling

 


I’ve been struggling with my food this week and quite a bit the last few days.  It is like I can’t tell myself “no” to temptations.  I did tell myself not to eat out last night, after I had already had a Los Betos big breakfast burrito and a strawberry milkshake earlier in the day, so that was progress.  Then I proceeded to snack on this-and-that at home last night.  Clearly I’m not doing well when it comes to weight loss.

I’m not sure if it is just the work shift change-over week or that time of the month but I’m feeling out of it this week.  My drive is just not there.  Really, my drive hasn’t been consistent for the past year.

I have no idea how I lost 130 pounds at one time in my life.  I have no idea how I buckled down, stuck with it, and powered through for two full years.  And then how I managed to stick with it for five years after that.  I’d always known I would keep my weight off as long as I had no major complications.  I chose not to have a baby (for other reasons not just weight loss) and up until my back issues started, I had been doing just fine.  Since last August though I just can’t seem to kick start the weight loss and I just keep drowning further and further.

There are days I feel okay and days I think I look good.  However, my clothes don’t fit the same and so I can’t deny that the excess weight is noticeable.  I’m sure years ago when I was going up the scale I was feeling the same way but I was just not as aware of it.  Being aware of going up the scale is a good thing, it just feels really frustrating to feel like you see it happening but don’t know how to stop it.

I wish I never had back issues.  If I hadn’t had back issues I suspect I would still be trucking along at my goal weight, or pretty close to it.  I should have made better decisions after my exercise started to drop off.  I should have done better to stick with it or at the very least been more careful with my eating.  I can’t go back.  I wish I could.

I really don’t know where to go from here.  I just have to keep moving forward.  I wish I could buckle down and get this extra weight off. 

Why does it feel so hard?

3 comments:

Amy B. said...

I'm kind of in the same boat. But I always feel better once I've had a few successes under my belt, like deciding not to eat out like you said, followed by having a healthy meal full of veg, and deciding to go out for a walk. Hopefully this week will be better for both of us! One choice at a time, like when we lost the most of our weight.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing isn't it how easy it is to just eat. People said your stomach will shrink. Nope not at all. I can still power through a buffet like no onea business.

When I first started losing I used to google weight loss bloggers who has lost over 100 pounds because that's what I needed. The problem was everysingle one I read kept it off for awhile and put some back on. I'm beginning to think with that massive amount of weight loss we all gaon some back. But I'm also thinking even those of us who are pretty normal still need to think about a couselor something more then meetings gives us. Because we just need a little more help. In the next few months I'm going to see about someone who specilizes it weight issues. Because I honestly think I got to be where I was because I like food. But I need to figure out how to get past the temptations.

Good luck. Sorry this was rambly.

Dawny said...

Hugs to you. I struggle and fight this battle along side you daily friend

I wish I had the answers for myself as well as you

I have to agree with other comments I've noticed with you that success breeds more success if even only temporary.

Hugs to you. Maybe expressing it here will have helped, just getting it out =-)

Thinking of you