Deflated

Yesterday morning I woke up, peed (because that is what you do when you have to get on the scale) and got on the scale.  My heart sank.  I knew was not going to be in goal range.  I knew I would not be making my August WI and would have to pay $9.  I also knew I wouldn’t be getting my 10^th Bravo star for being in goal range and I wasn’t getting my fifth Lifetime key charm either.  I was upset and the tears began to fall.

The scale was teetering between 178 and 178.2 pounds.  My leader wrote down 178.  By the time I got my phone to snap a photo the scale showed 178.4.

I kept it together pretty well despite being upset.  I was visiting with my WW meeting members/friends and I learned that a lady at my meeting, who I had been coaching on changing up her food, had made it back to her goal weight after a whole year.  That was exciting and I was very happy for her.  It made what I was going through feel less important.

Towards the end of the meeting my leader, Donna, brought our attention to the 2012 contest winner Cassie.  Cassie lost 140 pounds.  Donna asked me how much weight I had lost and I told her 130 pounds.  Then I announced I was probably going to cry and shared my frustration as the emotions came flooding out.  My WW group is so supportive and encouraging.  That is why I love WW so much.  I had lots of kudos, encouragment, understanding, and hugs.  It made me feel really good.

I am feeling better now.  It is frustrating to feel like you are eating the right foods and doing all the right exercises and still not seeing the results you hoped for.  However, the scale is just one indication of success.  I know this and will continue to remind myself of this.

I was also feeling let down as I am required to submit copies of my weight record for the WW 50th Anniversary Contest and I really want to be in goal range.  This doesn’t mean I won’t be considered for the contest I just really wanted my weight record to show I was in my goal range.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my food intake and I plan to make some changes this week.  I want to shake things up and start eating some different foods.  I will also cut back on the amount fruit I have been eating and increase the amont of veggies I have been eating.  I am creative with veggies so I have planned some salads and a few recipes to try.  I will keep up with my usual exercise routine.  I feel like my activity has been really good and solid lately.

I also need to try and not stress about this so much.  I have three more weeks to try and get my August WI done so I can get my 10^th Bravo star.  I also looked back at my previous weight records.  I find this helpful for gaining a new perspective.  In 2012 I was 177 and in 2011 I was 178.8.  I still don’t know why I am maintaining at the high end of my weight range but I am still maintaining.  I can’t let how I am feeling cloud that.

I appreciate the continued support and encouragement.