Worry

I don't want this blog to become all “Downer Debby” while I am slowly (and by slowly I mean sometimes it feels like a snails pace) mending my achey back. But I that how I am feeling lately.

One day I won't have much pain and I'll start to feel positive. Then, I wake up and there is still some pain. This isn't unusual as the issue I am dealing with means there will be some pain when I first wake up due to the fluid re-distributing while I sleep. Instead of starting the day on a positive note I instantly get upset and feel deflated. Yesterday I thought I would get on the scale at home to see how things are going this week. Yeah, not a good idea!

This is why I don't get on the scale more than once a week. I can't handle the ups and downs that might not be true weight gain. Mentally I just can't cope with it. I don't want to turn into one of those people that let the scale dictate my mood or what I do or don't eat for the day.

I know my food plan can be cleaner. I always feel like I am doing well and try to find that balance between healthy and not feeling deprived. Yet, there is still many extras I should do without while I am dealing with this situation with my back. I guess it is a choice between having a lot to lose and not feeling deprived or having little to lose but feeling semi-deprived? I don't know if that is really my only two choices either.

I am upset. I worry. I hate when I worry about things that I cannot control. I found this on Facebook.

Right now I am just feeling down.