Guest Post - Going Gadget Free

I have a blog post from Dawny to share with you today.  Dawny has gone gadget free, among some other changes, and is feeling really great.  She also realized she has a lot of extra time now that her every though isn’t consumed with diet, exercise, and health information.

Sometimes we just need to take a step back, breathe, and enjoy the ride.

The book Dawny makes reference to is Brain over Binge: Why I Was Bulimic, Why Conventional Therapy Didn't Work, and How I Recovered for Good by Kathryn Hansen.

Over the last couple of years it seems I have become more consumed with diet, exercise, obsession, planning, fear, and food in the extent of reading, writing, listening, researching, talking, and thinking about it all.  It's been so consuming that I’ve missed out on a lot of life.  I’ve reclosed, I’ve opted out of events or gatherings, I’ve stopped living and doing and being as I’ve been so afraid of veering off plan or not finishing a book because it's going to teach me the magic.

Recently I read a book that gave me a lot of insight into what has happened to me.  Although I never realized this until I read the book, stepping away from it I realize how toxic and crippling it has really become in my life.  It's become my being, my who I am, and what I’m about, always feeling the nagging that I have to read, write, plan, shop, cook, work-out, etc.

I took a step back and I started to really look at things and ask myself questions about how and when this happened, why it happened, and what I gained from it.  Most importantly I asked myself am I happy?

The answer is no.

So, it was time to really make a change.

The first change was to embrace it and realize it.  I needed to think it and feel it, really feel my feelings.  I needed to not just think and worry when/what/where the next food was and that I have to work-out or I need to eat this.  “Dawny, don't forget to get all of (said food) in today.”  “Oh you MUST guzzle down another glass of water because you'll fall short.”  “Oh no you ate five servings of fruit, what will you ever do.”

The next change happened after realizing how boring I had become and how boring my life was without those things occupying my time.  My life was boring only because I let my ways of thinking consume me for so long that I no longer participated in much else.  My changes included crocheting and I started looking though photos. I starting spending time with my six year old niece and I started going out with my son.  I enjoyed just lying on the couch with my husband, not doing anything.   I started going out and about with my husband to run amuck and do absolutely nothing. My son and I went to the mall.  I started living again.

My final change was that I decided to go gadget free.  I’ve let the numbers consume me so much that I decided to take off the Active Link that I get to use for free because I’m a service provider at my Weight Watchers center.  It's a good tool and I like it.  Active Link gives you a activity goal to strive towards in being more active.  I decided to take off the FitBit that my good friend bought it for me.  My friend knows me really well and she viewed me as very connected and dictated by numbers and knows how much information the FitBit provides.  She also knows how much I love it.

I decided to de-tangle my thinking from “oh, you haven't met this (said step) goal get up and get moving” or “oh you’re so close to the next green flashing light get up move.”  I want to move because I want to and because I like how it makes me feel when I do it.  I want to move because of how it starts my day on a good note with the energy I get from it.  I want to do it for the fun and because I know it gives me good health. NOT because I ate an extra brownie or NOT because I fear what the scale will say.  I want to exercise because I want to.

All of my changes have been so freeing.

And then it hit me...WOW...I’m bored.  There's nothing to do when I’m NOT worried about WHAT I’m going to eat and when.

Really?  

I’m not thinking about it while I’m sitting on the couch channel surfing feeling like I should be doing something.  Instead I’m calling people and making plans.  I’m getting together and hanging out.  I’m engaging my family to do things that would have annoyed me a few short weeks ago when they felt I should be doing that.

WOWSA...it's weird.

I stopped listening to educational lessons (podcasts) every time I exercised because sometimes too much knowledge (all of which contradicts each other) is very toxic.  It can make you crippled without even realizing it.  I started enjoying nature, the scenery, music.  It adds energy to a workout and that adds enjoyment and puts a real pep in the step!!  What a pure concept? I stopped buying/reading every single book that might have some secret that I’ve missed over the last 9.5 years of this journey.  I’ve stopped buying and reading every magazine that touts a new something on the cover.

I still listen to podcasts, sometimes but not every time.  I still read (I have a library built up that I’m working through) books about diet or lifestyle or recovery, etc.  I have to say I’m thankful because had I not stumbled upon the last book that helped me to realize that I lost touch with who I was and stopped being who I am. 

Now I feel like ME again.