August - Four Years Ago

Let us strive to improve ourselves, for we cannot remain stationary; one either progresses or retrogrades.

Marie Anne de Vichy-Chamrond, French patron of the arts (1697-1780)

 

I’ve mentioned several times how much I look forward to FB Memories each morning when I first wake up.  When I get a glimpse of my past self, I will take a few moments and analyze the photo.  Sometimes it is positive talk, sometimes it is negative, and often it is just gaining some perspective.  This 10+ year weight loss/maintenance journey I have been on has been a rollercoaster of both emotions and scale numbers.  Getting that look at myself (keeping in mind different camera angles) provides me with perspective.  I am/was getting low enough on the scale similar to the weight I was in 2015.  I looked back at my August 2015 weight chart and see that I even reached 209, which is what I weighted at the end of March 2019. 

 

I remember what it felt like to not only be back over my WW Goal (175 pounds) but to also be back in the 200s.  Back in 2015, it felt pretty miserable and I was definitely stressed about it often.  I’ve noticed this since reading over my old blostposts…I was stressed about my weight a lot.  And, most of the time, I was also trying to find a better body/life/weight balance, which I still seek.  Here are my posts around my Weekly Weigh-In August 2015:

It Was Time To Face The Scale – where I write about starting a new 12-week WW journal so I can really try to re-focus on my weightloss journey.  I struggled so much and just needed something to help me feel more in control.  A fresh start seems to always make me feel better.

I Ate Too Much – which is funny since I re-committed to better food/tracking accountability.  But, that doesn’t mean I have to give up eating yummy foods.  I mean, look at that dessert!  Mmmmmm…..sugar.

 

Tango, Not The Cha-Cha – which was a good meeting topic after my gain from the week before.  Oh…if only I knew then what I know now.  I would tell myself that it is only going to get mentally harder and the weight gain will get far worse before it gets better.

 

Humility – I really like the reflection on how I need to focus more on “letting your accomplishments speak for themselves.”  I have achieved so much and despite all those ups and downs, I’m still trucking along 10+ years later with extra motivation and that pep in my step that I need to get back under 200 pounds.

 

When I look back at my weight record as it pertains to the photos I see, it is most noticeable that I look pretty darn good in 2014.  What was my weight?  It was between 180-190.  The feelings from 2014 were so negative and it is really sad now because I look just fine.  I was way too hard on myself.  I desire to get below 200, I’m going to get below 200, and this time around, I’m going to be nicer to myself.