The Doctor Appointment

I had my annual physical a few weeks ago. Normally I have no issues, despite the usual feelings you have when getting a pap smear and breast exam, and I really love my doctor whom I only see once a year. However, this year was not like the last five years of doctor visits. This year I was feeling major anxiety. It was that old nagging fear of having to step on the scale and have the doctor see that I have gained weight. The night before my appointment all those old memories of my pre-WW days flooded my mind. Would I be getting “the talk” about my weight? Would she be disappointed? Maybe I should just explain it all upfront before she even says anything?

I had posted this photo on my WW Buddies Facebook page before I headed for my appointment. I shared with them the anxiety I was feeling and that looking at this photo made me feel proud of all I have accomplished despite being over goal for almost a full year (another blogpost coming on this topic). 

I went into my doctor appointment deciding that instead of blabbing to my doctor of what has been going on this last year I would just wait and see how the appointment progressed.  My fears were instantly put to rest when the doctor walked in and said, “look at you Skinny Minnie.” I thanked her and laughed. Then I blabbed all I had planned to tell her about my anxiety, the scale, and what had been going on since I last saw her. I have such a big mouth! Regardless, the reason I love this doctor so much is because she knows me. She knows my story, knows where I started, and knows what I continue to strive for. I really do wish I had a reason to see her more than once a year. But I guess it is good that I don't.

If you are reading this and feeling doubts about your success due to the number on the scale, try and shift your focus to something more positive. It is VERY difficult. We should not be defined by the number on the scale. It doesn't determine success or failure. I am up about 10 pounds from my last doctor's visit a year ago. It didn't come without struggle, sweat, tears, and also some pretty low days. 

But it also came with many positive days, some acceptance, and the ability to know I am stronger than I think I am. I can continue to hang in there when things get rough.